Originally written on Puck Huffers  |  Last updated 11/11/14

'Twas a cold night in Nassau when the Penguins arrived
To challenge those jerks on the Islanders' side.
Their fans are obnoxious, the beer's overpriced,
And the floor's super sticky. There's probably mice.

But we Penguins faithful will watch every game.
Location's no biggie, we'll tune in the same.
Join me (in my Snuggie) and Zoë (with a drink)
As we recap this game from the worst hockey rink. 


JStaal is hurt, Jason Williams is in.
But Engo's come back, to Matt Martin's chagrin.
The Isles themselves are winning a bit
But we're hoping that trend will reverse and they'll quit.

Disco and Potash are our favorite Dans
We like to hear all about their big plans.
DiPietro is out, but he sure won't be missed.
  I bet he's just hiding from Brent Johnson's fists.


The Isles' third jersey makes them look super dumb.
But whatever the outfit, they'll still play like bums.
Tavares goes crashing straight into the net
And draws a lame penalty on Duper. No sweat.

The Penguins are having some trouble, it seems
In trying to realize their goal-scoring dreams.
Ullstrom? Who's that? Oh, just some random dude
Who stuffs it in net. 1-0 Isles. How rude.

Geno gets called for the SMALLEST of hooks.
I think he got robbed. The refs must be crooks.
Jurchina and Wideman combine for a goal
It's 2-nothing Isles. Let's get out of this hole!

The puck is now under Vitale's control.
He passes to Sullivan, who scores a huge goal!
It's 2 to 1 Isles, but I feel the game shift
A few more Pens goals would be a great gift.

Our current favorite is Princess James Neal.
We adore his sick moves. We might even squeal.
Now Neal justifies all our fawning and praise,
And scores on Montoya. 2-2 tie. We're amazed.

We love your mad skills and your great gingerbeard,
We'd be completely distraught if it ever disappeared.


The Isles start the second on a lame power play
And we just don't care. We'll kill that all day.
But after some skating, Okposo shoots high
Beating Fleury up top. 3-2 Isles, makes me cry.

Zoë wonders why Engo's so perfect inside
We missed him so much. We practically cried.
Some offsetting penalties now happen outright
As Hamonic elbows Brooks Orpik. With spite.

Montoya goes flopping all over the ice
As Neal stuffs it in. 3-3 tie. Very nice!
Fleury stands tall to keep stopping the puck.
Then Orpik comes back and starts running amok.

TK makes a great pass that goes straight to Dupuis
Who snipes the puck in to go up 4 to 3.
The period ends without too much fanfare
Let's hope that the third is a Penguins affair.


The Pens come out strong taking pucks to the net
And Cooke stuffs it in. 5-3 Pens. Now we're set.
The Isles look sad, slow, and completely dejected.
Mostly because their offensive drives get rejected.

Paul Martin puts it in off a weird bounce.
It's 6 to 3 Pens. Isles fans start to flounce.
Not much is happening. The players seem bored.
I think it's about time for some PH awards.

Consistent Saves goes to our goaltender Fleury
Who turns pucks aside with a calm kind of fury.
Although we're now winning, Crosby's the Most Missed
Games go much better when he's there to assist.

Steiggy updates us while the game clock ticks down,
The Penguins are winners as they head back to town.
I hear Errey exclaim as the ROOT broadcast ends,
"Feel better, Sid! And c'mon, LET'S GO PENS!"


John Beilin upset with ESPN for late start time to game

Tyson Chandler felt like Knicks' scapegoat at times

Fred Jackson has 'no respect' for Donte Whitner

Devon Still responds to unpaid child support allegations

Diamondbacks sign Cuban slugger Yasmany Tomas

Josh Gordon felt alienated by some in Browns organization


Jerry Jones: I'm a big admirer of Robert Griffin III

Raiola fined for uneccesarily striking Pats' Zach Moore

Report: Michigan keeping Jim Hackett on as athletic director

LeBron James on Ferguson: 'Violence is not the answer'

Decision on Ray Rice's appeal could come Wednesday

Jaguars coach calls out Blake Bortles: ‘We expect more’

Todd Gurley begins rehab after surgery on knee for torn ACL

Brodeur to practice with Blues

OSU player posts Michigan player's girlfriend as his 'WCW'

Jim Harbaugh's family may not eat turkey thanks to NBC

Ole Miss' The Grove threatened by Mississippi State fan

Is it time for the Redskins to move on from Robert Griffin III?

Top 10 fantasy football turkeys for 2014

WATCH: Coyotes lose in ugly fashion, score own goal in OT

Warriors are having tons of fun on team plane

Jenn Sterger hints she'll be back in her FSU cowgirl gear for game

Game of the week: Kansas City Chiefs vs. Denver Broncos

Top storyline for each Week 13 NFL game

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

John Beilin upset with ESPN

Should Washington move on from RG3?

Dominic Raiola fined for cheap shots

Game of the week: Kansas City Chiefs vs. Denver Broncos

Rose leaves with injury again

WATCH: Pierce signs for fan during game

Report: McCoy to start over RG3

Braxton Miller headed to Oregon?

10 most one-sided college football rivalries

Pierce: C's Big Three like 'Holy Trinity'

Maclin unhappy with Cooper comments

Post-Week 13 CFB Playoff projection

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.