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Fast Eddie's Take on Tulane-Kansas State
A lit cigar. Mandatory Credit: Grace Hollars-USA TODAY Sports USA TODAY Sports via Reuters Connect

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For more years than I can remember, Fast Eddie has been a part of my life. I have never known his real name, but he's the guy who shows up when you least expect it, does most of the talking, then leaves. If you have a friend like Eddie, then you know how lucky you are that he or she does the last part pretty quickly. Fast Eddie always has.

Today, I'm walking across the street from the Tulane athletic complex, trying not to get run over by the Claiborne Avenue traffic. I'm heading for the Frostop across the way and guess who sees me as I am navigating my way across the final three lanes of the speeding vehicles.

"Hey, Joubert," he yells to me over the hum of the cars going by. He was wiping his mouth with his the sleeve of his long-sleeved shirt. I can't imagine how hot he must be. My mind drifts off to think if I had ever seen Fast Eddie in any thing short-sleeved or even in a pair of shorts. A sudden long "BEEEEEP!" shakes me out of my day dream. I traverse the final lane of on-coming traffic, and I greet Eddie on the corner.

"How are you doin'?" I ask, trying to be polite. He ignores the inquiry.

"Those Lot-O-Burgers used to be a lot," Eddie tells me. He goes on to recount his experiences at various Frostops while he was growing up. "But Frostop root beer is always the best. You should have some."

I remind him I am diabetic and would love to have it, but I can't drink that liquid nectar anymore. Again, he ignores what I just said.

"The Greenies looked better against South Alabama," Eddie says as he shifts gears quickly to what he wants to talk about. "Still not there, though. Too many missed tackles by the D, and the O had another slow start. Hope this ain't a trend."

He does a quick glance back and forth on Claiborne, as if he's waiting. So, I ask.

"My daughter is coming to pick me up," Eddie regales me. "We're down to one car, so I'm relying on my teenager to be my chauffeur." He hides a smile from me with the back of his hand. I can tell he's got something up his sleeve.

"This will be Tulane's toughest competition of the year," Eddie says, quickly shifting back to the Green Wave. "K-State is good, but how good can you be when you beat Nicholls and an off-season Washington State? Tulane has actually played somebody.

"Twenty-and-a-half points is way too many to give up," Eddie says as his daughter drives up in an old mini-van that's coughing smoke out the back. "I say take Tulane and the points."

He slides the side door of the van open and gets into the middle bench seat, giving instructions in a horrible British accent to his daughter, giggling all the time while calling her "James" as they drive off.

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This article first appeared on Tulane Green Wave on SI and was syndicated with permission.

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