Madame Web review roundup: ‘The memes will save it’

Originally posted on Parade | By Josh Broadwell | Last updated Feb 13, 2024 11:28 AM ET

The Madame Web reviews are rolling out, and it’s probably little surprise to hear that critics aren’t thrilled with the latest Sony Spider-Verse superhero movie. That Spider-Verse includes 2022’s Morbius, a film that also released to poor critical reception, though Sony apparently misunderstood the Morbius memes as a sign of popularity and re-released the film, only to see it perform poorly again.

It seems like Sony maybe didn’t learn their lesson. The kindest thing most of the early reviews have said is that Madame Web is “fine” and “just there,” though that’s not exactly what I’d call praise.

#MadameWeb is totally fine. There’s really not a lot to say here. The leads are charming. Dakota Johnson is a witchy weirdo. The slasher/FINAL DESTINATION meets superheroes vibes are there. But there’s just not a whole lot to it. Not a disaster. Just kinda there. pic.twitter.com/HVf1jsUBnO
— James Preston Poole (@JamesPPoole) February 13, 2024

The Hollywood Reporter’s Lovia Gyarkye called Madame Web “depressingly inert” and “an airless and stilted endeavor driven by a mechanical screenplay” before saying the lack of imagination would be shocking – if it weren’t so expected. Ouch. Gyarkye said the film’s shallow character development and clunky script make it impossible to care about the plot or the people in it, though they praised Madame Web’s depiction of how little personal privacy American citizens have in the post-9/11 world.

#MadameWeb is a clunky, poorly-written, messy, and sloppy movie packed with some mediocre editing and performances.

Even though it had solid cinematography and an interesting concept, it couldn't be saved due to its terrible execution.

Full review dropping at 9am. ️ pic.twitter.com/i2mGhchJzI
— The Hollywood Handle (@HollywoodHandle) February 13, 2024

Cris Parker, a film YouTuber who goes by 3CFilms on that platform, was a bit more blunt.

“Madame Web is an embarrassing mess,” Parker said on Twitter. “Talented stars wasted on probably the worst comic book movie I have ever seen. Filled with atrocious dialogue, awkward editing, & all around laughable structure. The memes will redeem it.”

Yeah, #MadameWeb is somehow worse than you feared. One of the worst movies ever made, in any genre. Story makes absolutely no sense. The "action" is boring, with barely any cape stuff. Dakota Johnson looks as bored as you'll feel. It makes MORBIUS look like THE DARK KNIGHT. pic.twitter.com/fOA5RQJUey
— Sean O'Connell (@Sean_OConnell) February 13, 2024

Discussing Film called Madame Web an “unintentionally hilarious Marvel flick,” which probably isn’t a description you want for your serious superhero movie, while Variety called it “superfluous,” and The Independent branded it an “embarrassing mess.”

However, the most devastating review came from Marvel influencer Matt Ramos, who goes by SUPES on YouTube.

“Morbius was better.”

Some critics evidently don't share that view. Madame Web has a 23% score on Rotten Tomatoes at the time of publication, and Morbius only managed to get 15%. Take your wins where you can get them, I guess.

Madame Web releases in theaters on Feb. 14, 2024. There's no anticipated streaming release date yet, though Madame Web likely won't come to Disney Plus until 18 months after its theatrical release, thanks to a deal that keeps Madame Web out of Disney's Marvel-verse.

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