It’s that time of year again! To bring up the things I can’t stand in the least. (Like the Grinch says “roast beast is a feast I can’t stand in the least”) As a grumpy old man who happens to reside in a 34-year-old, I present my 16 choices, which will narrow to four and then we’ll let the reader polling begin.
#1 The lower back tattoo trend
The tramp stamp is so overdone, it’s been “out” since “Wedding Crashers” was releases in 2005. Yet we continue to see this, and by this I mean women of higher and middle classes emulating the lowest of classes. Here’s the list of top ten celebrity tramp stamps.
#2 Wikipedia editing NERDS
You SERIOUSLY have the time for this stuff? And to later debate and defend it to the death, really? Time to take a long hard look at your life guys.
#3 Penn State football program ethics
You might have heard of a few things they did wrong, and some atrocities they allowed to occur on their watch.
#4 Press release “quotes”
These are actually always not actual quotes, just PR flak contrived drivel and pablum masquerading as speech. Boring speech, but still.
#5 Ohio State fans
So much success has spoiled them, and now they just can’t take criticism from anyone. And believe that the clothes they root for gives them special privileges above the rest of us.
I think the secret is out now that this service benefits no one but themselves. Consumers, suppliers, publishers, everyone who becomes connected to them loses.
Is it fair to say this is the most overrated “thing” of our generation. (go here for more on that) Sure, when you consider Mark Zuckerberg turned down an offer to sell it for $700 million. Seriously, what’s possibly worth that kind of money?
#8 Unknown things floating in your drink
Nothing more be said.
#9 Tweets by sideline eye candy reporters
The only really really attractive woman in sports who ever tweets anything interesting and funny is Michelle Beadle. Your Jenn Brown, Charissa Thompson, all the Erin Andrews wannabes are sooooooooooooooo BORING on twitter. Overlook how many followers they have, each one has the exact same, PR shill type everything-is-beautiful phony personality online.
“tonight we’re going hard, hard, hard, hard,”….Please, make her mute before we all of our ears bleed us to death.
#11 People who tweet about their workouts
#12 People who tell you about their fantasy teams
NO ONE CARES! And remember that goes double for your bracket. No gives a **** that yours is busted by Gonzaga winning in the second round. Friends don’t let friends tweet about how their brackets/fantasy teams are performing.
#13 “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO
MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!!!!! JUST MAKE IT STOP. FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS I’VE BEEN SAYING JUST MAKE IT STOP
#14 Page views for Notre Dame basketball
Doesn’t matter how good/bad they are, on the web people just DON’T CARE as much as they should. Sure, they’re great in the Big East, but the lack of a history in the tournament might explain it.
#15 Inspirational leadership books by crooked coaches
John Calipari and/or Jim Calhoun’s book would work as a title for this category. Or Pete Carroll or Jim Tressel. “Lessons for success in life and business!!” Yes, the lesson is always cheat and never get caught.
Play-in game #16 the phrase “dunk porn” vs. #17 the term “WAG”
Both infected our language in recent years, we need to kill these infections quickly, before they dumb us all the way down. “women at games?” “wives and girlfriends” really? Are we as a society that close to living out the reality portrayed in the Mike Judge film “Idiocracy?”
Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net, an official Google News site generating millions of unique visitors. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Walter Football.com, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports
A Fulbright scholar and MBA, Banks has appeared on live radio all over the world; and he’s a member of the Football Writers Association of America, U.S. Basketball Writers Association, and Society of Professional Journalists. The President of the United States follows him on Twitter (@Paul_M_BanksTSB) You should too.
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