Found May 07, 2013 on
Purple Jesus Diaries:
In an attempt to rid the team of every player I care about (Run, Purple Jesus, get away while you can!), the Minnesota Vikings released Chris Kluwe, the 31 year old punter that was heading into his ninth year, who transcended what football to live among the clouds of AWESOME. Maybe it's a good thing he's cut from the team. The Vikings are turning into such a boring group of cold potatoes that Kluwe's "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" references are wasted on our backwoods denizen fans, and the soulless, faceless entity now in front of you more accurately represents the franchise, the NFL, and the bland brand of sport they offer. Exciting stuff!
Also, anyone who bothers to get up in arms to go OUT OF THEIR WAY, and make sure everyone knows Kluwe was TOTALLY RELEASED because of football reasons, which are PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE, is pretty much just confirming the elephant in the room and are being lustful **** monsters. Just like Frank Fitts in American Beauty.
Anyway. The Vikings are going through a youth movement, blah blah, they wanted a cheaper kicker, words go here, go **** yourself Vikings, you've successfully rid yourself of the last remaining players I want to cheer for (outside of your heavenly running back, obviously). Hopefully Kluwe signs with Seattle so my team allegiance switch will go smoothly!
So we bid adieu, sweet prince, and write you a parting ode via haiku:
With erotic flowing locks,
You brought sunshine north.
Ball management skills,
Evident from rookie year,
On field work good too.
With purple and gold,
Your kicks would bring sweet justice,
To sucky offense.
Rode oft to battle,
Fought Bears, Lions, and Packers,
Devin Hester won.
But not a battle,
Will win a war, said some guy,
Who never punted.
From video games,
Rock bands, to comedy shows,
Your brand knew no bound.
Your fight for the gays,
Was just and proud - Made us all,
A little bit gay?
From Gangnam Style Dance,
To ice cream bets - You're still it ...
Best Shirtless Viking.
Adieu Chris, my prince,
May your Warcraft guy be strong,
And thanks for the fish.
BEST OF MAXIM
AROUND THE WEB
The writing on the wall has become the reality for Chris Kluwe.
On Monday, the Vikings' longtime punter announced on his Twitter account that he's been released, issuing his goodbyes to fans, teammates, ownership, and even fish.
Photo from Vikings.com
Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe told the Star Tribune that he’ll find out on Monday whether he’ll get released or not.
“Most teams generally don’t draft a punter in the fifth round unless that’s who they’re going to go with,” Kluwe said. “They said they would let me know Monday after the rookie minicamp.”
Kluwe had a solid season in 2012...
Chris Kluwe may believe that the Minnesota Vikings released him because of his views on gay rights but the truth is he is not worth the salary. Kluwe was set to make $1.4 million during the upcoming season after performing as a middle of the pack punter for the last two years.
Kluwe knew his time with the Vikings was short when the team drafted Jeff Locke with the 155th overall pick...
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- Chris Kluwe says he has been released by the Minnesota Vikings.
The punter tweeted Monday that he is no longer a member of the team. Kluwe thanked the Vikings fans, his teammates and Vikings owners Zygi and Mark Wilf for the past eight seasons in Minnesota. He says he "wouldn't have traded it for anything."
The move was expected after the Vikings...
It’s not often that one of the week’s loudest and most frequently cited headlines involves the release of a punter.
But when the Minnesota Vikings dropped Chris Kluwe earlier this week, it ensured that during this relatively news less post-draft time, that a special teamer would be in the headlines for awhile.
Kluwe spent eight years in Minnesota, being best known alternatively...
Since the Minnesota Vikings chose to cut veteran punter Chris Kluwe on Monday, a debate has raged over whether his release was performance-based or a result of his outspoken advocacy on a number of social issues — most notably marriage equality.
Kluwe’s days seemed to be numbered when the team used a fifth-round draft pick on UCLA punter Jeff Locke, but some, including Minnesota...
Chris Kluwe's release from the Minnesota Vikings has stirred up a slight debate. Many are questioning whether the Vikings released Kluwe for being outspoken on a number of issues or was he released because of his punting ability or lack thereof.
One person that seems to be in Kluwe's corner is Minnesota governor Mark Dayton. Dayton finds it kind of fishy that Kluwe was...
According to Tom Pelissero of 1500ESPN.com, the Minnesota Vikings have released punter Chris Kluwe.
Just talked to Chris Kluwe. He was released after his workout this morning. Feels he can punt another 4 or 5 years in the NFL. Knee is good.
— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) May 6, 2013
As long as Kluwe is healthy, I can’t imagine him having a hard time finding a new team.
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Chris Kluwe likes gays a lot and not guns so much.
This is an unpopular opinion for any guy to be espousing nowadays. It is especially deadly if said guy happens to be employed by a professional sports league as Kluwe is was.
The Vikings released the punter Monday. This may or may not have everything to do with Kluwe's views about gay marriage (for) and gun control legislation...
Minnesota Gov. Mark Dayton said he doesn’t feel good about the Vikings releasing Chris Kluwe and wants honesty about why they made the decision.
Hot News for P Chris Kluwe
The Minnesota Vikings selected punter Jeff Locke in the sixth round of the recent NFL Draft. The addition was expected to push incumbent Chris Kluwe, but it appears that the Vikings may hand the rookie the job sooner than later and part ways with the veteran, according to Mark Craig and Dan Wiederer of The Star-Tribune.
After selecting Locke, Vikings general manager Rick Spielman...
Tonight, in a SILVERMAN: On Sports EXCLUSIVE, great friend to the show, Chris Kluwe discussing how he was put on waivers by the Minnesota Vikings. The bad-ass punter discussed, football, gay rights, Jason Collins, his rock music and love of video games. For the entire conversation, listen here! As always, Kluwe is candid and awesome!
I also raise the question regarding how supportive...
Sports, politics and social issues. Those are three topics that are often digested separately, but sometimes they come bundled together. That's the scenario that formed when NBA player Jason Collins became the first active athlete in a major American sport to come out as gay. It's also the situation that was often created by Chris Kluwe, the Vikings' former punter.
Gregg Rosenthal of NFL.com wrote early Monday it may soon be the end of the road in Minnesota for punter Chris Kluwe.
Indeed, Kluwe confirmed the rumors when he tweeted his goodbye Monday morning and took the opportunity to thank of all of his fans.
Kluwe, 31, was due to make $1.4 million this season in the final year of a seven-year deal signed back in 2007.
Perhaps the writing...