Found October 25, 2012 on Purple Jesus Diaries:
Show No Mercy, Percy: Hey guys, welcome to a Thursday night, kind-of prime time game day/evening. I say kind of, because not everyone has the NFL Network, where this game is being shown on across the country. So unless you live in Minnesota or Tampa Bay (and really, who would want to live in either of those frozen poop stains or sweaty under cheese locations?!), it's not a guarantee that you'll see the game. But some may! The rich people, definitely, who pay stupid sums for Dish Network and have their signal wiped out and the sneeze of a butterfly, or the poor people, who suffer those same ills, but eventually get their satellite cut because they forgot to pay their bill, because they're poor and ****. Those people will see this game, and those people will likely see why Percy Harvin is as legit a candidate for the MVP award this season as any old crotch head, white QB on a mediocre team. What, you want to give it to Matt Ryan? BORING! And probably racist. No, tonight is when Percy shines, and people swoon over his magnificence. Getting a win for the team wouldn't be bad, either. Thanks to KILLERCHEF from Rube Chat once again for another great game day preview graphic! Why I Hate the Bucs! I always forget that the Bucs and Vikings use to play in the same division. Whoever decided that was the right call is an idiot, but that is neither here nor there. Clearly, I will never forgive them for beating the Vikings in the 1998 season, ruining our shot at a perfect record. Also, it's the curse of the Bucs (which I think has since been broken? But I don't give a real **** to look it up), where no team has won a Super Bowl if they lose to the Bucs during the regular season. Seriously, Tampa? That's a stupid curse to have. And also, go screw yourself, Josh Freeman. And no, it doesn't have anything to do with him being the most obviously gay player in the NFL, and everything with him having spurned Nebraska for his college ball and then going to Kansas State, where he proceeded to get his fro'd mop pushed back so hard it came out as neck hair. These are all good reasons to hate Tampa Bay, but if you have a separate reason yourself, feel free to share it in the comments. [youtube]wClO0kUzPNA[/youtube] This is the God Damn Worst Thing I Have Ever Seen, Ever: Ever wonder why the Vikings haven't won a Super Bowl? Why we can't have nice things? It's because you idiots do **** like this. Oh, sure, I'd like to blame it ALL on KFAN, for finally latching on to an international meme five months too late, or elbow Chris Hawkey in the rib cage with a knowing smile that his singing skills leave something to be desired, or even Common Man for lowering himself to these peasant standards. Also, Meat Sauce's fat ass doesn't help either. You're not even fat, you piece of ****, you're just slovenly. Go to the gym or some ****. But no, they're just blowing the company ***** that is the evil empire Clear Channel. They're suppose to suck. And they do, if you ever bother to listen to the Super Star Mike Morris' morning broadcast. But YOU. YOU FANS. Damn you all. You fat, trashy, uncoordinated, poorly maintained facial hair wearing, obnoxiously dressed, self important, **** smearing Vikings fans. Show yourself some god damn respect, and then maybe we'll get what we should have had a long, long time ago, in a Super Bowl win. I swear, SWEAT TO GOD, if we lose tonight, it's because of this ****. What is it to whoop anyone Vikings style? Give up a lot of prevent defense yards and touchdowns in the end to make the score closer than it needs to be? Dink and dunk down the field because we lack any semblance of a downfield passing attack? THRILLING! LET'S WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT! I don't want to live in this world anymore. "What's the Deal with Christian Ponder?!" I looked hard for a Seinfeld YouTube collection of him saying "What's the deal..?!" over and over again, but it just didn't happen. NBA sucks like that. We wouldn't want anyone to share your content and talk about your programs, new and super old now, would we?! Free advertising? What is this, the future?! Regardless, there's been a lot of gum gnashing from Vikings fans who finger blast their cousins (probably) about how they are giving up on Ponder because of his poorly played last few games, you know, where the team is still 5-2. On one hand, I agree that he's showed some poor decisions, weak passes, and behavior on the field (tossing it away straight to a defender? OK.) that has been detrimental to the team ... Buuuuuttt, he JUST finished playing his 16th NFL game. Maaayyybeee we should let him try a bit more? Christ, idiots let TarVar literally tug his turtle out on the field for four years for us. I think we can probably give Ponder like, a year and a half. AT LEAST. Dolan of the Week: For this week's Dolan Comic, we're bringing you something amazing. It's a College Gameday sign from when they were, apparently, in Gainseville for a Florida Gator game. A Florida fan must have put this together and got it on camera to tell Oregon Ducks fans to shut the hell up about their whining of being jumped in BCS rankings. It's pretty close to the coolest thing I've seen in months (aside from that woman with two vaginas). I think at this point, the only thing that could top this, or at least the marriage of Dolan and sports, would be if someone got a Dolan sign like this on after a Packers and Vikings game where we beat them, and it had Dolan's face and a caption like, "Puckrs pls, iz Vikinz." I would pay you a billion internet credits, redeemable for one poorly done photoshopped image of your choosing. GET TO WORK, MINIONS!! Scotch of the Week: Scrapping the bottle of the scotch barrel, so to speak, until I decide to go buck wild and start buying bottles of scotch like I'm a full blown alcoholic. The way this stressful season has been going, that may happen sooner than later, so no worries. In the meantime, I'm revisiting the wonderful Balvenie family with this Balvenie 15-year Single Barrel scotch. From Speyside, this Highland scotch is uniquely crafted, much like the shirtless body of Christian Ponder, and only aged in a single barrel, usually of bourbon. The linked review says that the Scotch Master (best job title ever?) is very particular in which barrels are selected to be bottled, with no two barrels every being the exact same in flavor profile. What this leaves you with then is a Balvenie that has some of the typical family tasting notes (honey, vanilla, oakey notes), but a like uniqueness from the single bourbon cask. Usually the double barrel version will be aged in a Sherry cask, which gives it sweeter notes when tasting. This Single Cask says "SCREW YOU *****!" to that ****, and hits you hard with the bourbon flavors instead. It's not bad, bringing a little clover, honey, and even some savory and tropical fruit qualities to it, but like all Balvenie scotch's, it's nice but nothing to make your dick hard over. A safe scotch, if you will. Shirtless Viking of the Week: I found something pretty amazing this last week. After the Vikings and Cardinals game, the Minnesota Vikings Facebook page posted an "exclusive" video post-game in the locker room, where they gave out the game ball, and Big Leslie shared some words with the team. I didn't care for any of that, obviously, because all I could think of was "VIKING PLAYERS IN A LOCKER ROOM?! SHIRTLESS TIME!" And for the most part I was correct. As you can see, I nabbed a decent Shirtless Christian Ponder shot bringing people to the amaze-balls gun show, and also got one of a Shirtless Chris Kluwe standing next to Blair Walsh, who also looks shirtless, but is also just so damn small I can barely tell. Either way, the bros are having fun in the locker room. If I had to guess, I would wager that these types of videos are going to become a treasure trove of Shirtlessness. LATHER UP, BROS! Primetime Predictions: I went to a Monday Night Football game once at the Metrodome, all the way back in 2006 when we started the year 4-2, heading into a Week 8 game against the Patriots. For some reason, people - much like in 2012 - were CONVINCED that despite losing two games, this Vikings team really had potential. Brad Johnson was the steady veteran manning the helm, Chester Taylor looked like a legit starting running back, and we had just put up 31 points on the Seahawks ... And then Tom Brady and Bill Belichick just prison groped us, spread us out all over the field, gave wedgies to our defense, pimp slapped our offense, and started us on a four game losing streak that ended in a 6-10 record. BARF. Do I think this is going to happen again against the Bucs? No, not necessarily. Josh Freeman is no Tom Brady, and Greg Schiano is a huge ****. I mean, so is Belichick, but at least I can respect him for having won big before. My real worry is that this team may be too amped up, and we'll see the bad Vikings from this year turn out. However, all the evidence says differently. This year, Thursday Night home teams have won like five of the seven games I believe, the Bucs are terrible, and these games that come on a short week always end up being ugly games. Coincidence that the Vikings love playing in ugly games and winning them this year?! ... No, it's actually pretty much our MO. But because of that, I actually like our chances. I think the stupid fans I was making fun of earlier bring the heat, the defense plays well, Percy does just enough to save our ass, and we sneak out a win. I also kind of just think that this team is too stupid to know they're playing in a big game, on a national stage, meaning they're too stupid to get rattled by the situation. That's a good thing! With my current prediction record of 4-3 after incorrectly guessing how last week would play out, I hope we snatch this win and push my own record to 5-3. Enjoy the game, folks. No one get thrown in prison tonight, OK? If you're stuck at home, we'll have a game thread up at about 6:00 PM, so come join the conversation. See you then. [follow]

Vikings' Ponder struggling but not stressing

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. Christian Ponder is more confident. He's more comfortable in the Minnesota Vikings' system. The second-year starting quarterback has grown since last season.For months, Ponder and the Vikings have uttered those words and talked often about his progress this season after last year's tough rookie year. They've talked about his leadership and how...

Ponder struggles again, offense falters in loss

MINNEAPOLIS Christian Ponder was left to again try and explain the lack of any offensive rhythm for the Minnesota Vikings on Thursday and he didnt have many answers. Ponder said he needed to look at the film. He knows he, and the rest of the offense needs to improve. But for three weeks now, its been the same tune for the second-year quarterback. He says he feels comfortable in...

Vikings' QB situation something to Ponder

MINNEAPOLIS The boobirds started early. It was barely three minutes into the Thursday Night Football game at the Mall of America Field, and the Minnesota Vikings the 5-2 Vikings, nipping at the heels of the Chicago Bears in the NFC North, getting plenty of votes as the NFL's biggest 2012 surprise were already stinking it up. Their offense had a quick three-and-out to start...

Frazier: Ponder is starting QB, barring injury

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. With quarterback Christian Ponder's confidence looking shaky, Minnesota Vikings coach Leslie Frazier reiterated his full confidence in his second-year starter on Friday. Coming off another shaky outing from Ponder (19 of 35 passing for 251 yards, one touchdown, one interception and three sacks) in Thursday's 36-17 loss at home to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers...

Vikings vague with Ponder’s struggles

The Vikings are searching for solutions in their passing game, but sticking by Christian Ponder. So what’s wrong? There weren’t many specifics given over the past two days.

Frazier: Ponder's recent performance no cause for panic

Playing a game four days after the previous one has to feel good for a quarterback who performed as poorly as Christian Ponder did in the Vikings' 21-14 win over the Cardinals at Mall of America Field on Sunday. Thursday's kickoff against the visiting Buccaneers gives the second-year quarterback three fewer days to dwell on his eight completions (one in the second half...

Happy Hour – TB/MIN, Top 10 College Football, MICH/NEB Picks

Thursday, October 25 Tampa Bay (2-4) at Minnesota (5-2), Minnesota favored by 6 1/2 The Vikings won last week against Arizona and set passing the football back almost 100 years. Christian Ponder was awful, but it didn’t matter because “Purple … Continue reading →

Bucs game day: Keys to the game against the Vikings

The Bucs head up north to face the Minnesota Vikings on Thursday Night Football. Tampa Bay can not let the national spotlight get to them as running back Adrian Peterson and defensive end Jared Allen have made it tough for the opposition to get a win off of them this season.  Keep Peterson from running wild Adrian Peterson ran for 153 yards and one touchdown against the Cardinals...

Inside The Buccaneers at Vikings

The Thursday night match-ups have proven to be must-see TV. Let’s dive into Week  8′s clash that features two teams that appear to be going in very different directions.  Please Click Here To Read This Breakdown

Fantasy Football Week 8: Thursday Night Football Matchup

Thursday night football is a jinx for away teams.  Home teams are 5-1 on Thursday nights.  The only away team to win was the New York Giants against the Carolina Panthers.  And let's face it almost everyone has beat up on the Panthers this year. So lets avoid Thursday being a jinx for you.This Thursday, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers travel to Minnesota to meet the Minnesota Vikings...
All Sports News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.