Originally posted on Losers Bracket  |  Last updated 3/13/12

The Milwaukee Brewers are going to suck this year at a near record level.  Only once in this franchise’s “storied” history have they lost 100 games.  In 2002, they were, and ouchie wow wow, 56-106.  This year I see them losing an even 100.    With all the sucky teams the Brewers have had why will this be the 2nd worst ever?   I’m glad you asked.

 

Pitching.  Pitching is the key to the world series ring.  Pitching is EXACTLY the same as last year.  Nothing has changed in the bullpen or in the starting rotation.  This in not good news.  Chris Narveson (Narve dogg) and Randy Wolf had career years last year.   Which means they are going to suck ass this year, these two don’t have much, if any, talent.   What makes you think Shawn Marcum is going to just snap out of the death funk trance he was in at the end of last year?  Because the robins are back?  Good luck with that.  And Greinke is one head case away from a meltdown.  And Yo-Yo for the most part was healthy last year.  He is the Brewers version of Andrew Bogut.  Potential lost, due to injury.   And just like the rest of the Brewers roster there is nothing in the back cupboards friends.  This roster is razor thin.  Quick name a potential 6th or 7th starter…Is Teddy Higuera still around?

Oh, and the AX man and K-Rod worked for a couple of weeks but no way is K-Rod happy all year when Ax man loses his stuff for a few games.  CANCER INCOMING!

 

Lineup

Weekes in the one hole.  What a kook.  Rickie demands he hits lead off even though he would be great as the 6th hitter or 2nd hitter.  Rickie leading off strikes out too much.  Way too much and doesn’t look at enough pitches.  Rickie, drives me nuts.

Nyjer Morgan was a great one year experience.  So was Randy Moss at New England and T.O. at the Cowboys.  For awhile.  I bet he’s not so fun if we are not winning.   Ask the Pirates or the Nationals.  And if he can’t play guess who starts everyday?  Spaz Gomez, perhaps the worst batting center fielder in the majors.

Ryan Braun.  Guy is going to try too hard, get frustrated, let the media crush him, and spiral into the abyss.  Oh boy.  Oh boy.  Tiger Woods version 2.0.

Aramis Ramirez (not your aramis, myaramis)  Here go ahead and read this article why Cubs fans won’t miss him. He doesn’t try.  Perfect addition.  Whoops.  He’s a lollygagger.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Corey Hart (dog)  Injured.  Recovers slow.  Swings at pitches down and away.  Has lost speed in right.   Check the scouting report.

Mat (where’s the T) Gamel in the 6 hole.  Hit .111 last year and is a lifetime .222 in the majors.   Why should I be excited about this guy again?

Alex Gonzalez and Lucroy.  Typical Brewer 7 and 8 hitters.  Out 1 and out 2 every three innings.   Great.

Bonus credits:   Norichika Aoki and Taylor Green are probably are two key back up players.  If they walked by you on the street would you recognize them?  Razor thin roster might be a compliment.

Coaching:  Ronnie Roenicke is in his 2nd year.  He’s met his match with this team.   He’s an average coach that can’t make miracles.

Hey, the beer is normally always cold at Miller Park.  It ain’t all bad.

— Roste Beefe

…yah I wrote a post on why the Brewers will win the World Series last week.    So I am guessing they won’t lose 100 but won’t win the world series.  Terrifically average.  .500 Brewer baseball.  Just like I am used to.  Soft and comfortable like an old pillow.

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