Found September 24, 2012 on The North End End Zone:

VATECH

We’re 3-1, *******! We beat Bowling Green 37-0! Woo! However, do you think I am completely happy with that result? If you guessed yes, then you don’t read this blog enough, should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. If you guessed no, then you win some lint from my pocket and a free mustache ride. Only kidding. That’s disgusting. Anyway, here are my post-game thoughts from this week’s win over Bowling Green. Hit. The. Jump. NOW.

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Better effort from the defense, but still not the typical lunch pail crew we’re used to seeing. Where’s the mean streak? Where is all the hitting? No offense, Bud, but your boys look more like prancing ballerinas than football players. As Jimmy McGinty would say, “You’ve got to have heart. Miles and miles of heart.” Outside of Fuller and Jarrett, we just don’t have it. Where's Shane Falco when you need him most? Plus, our secondary is just awful…

 Jimmy-McGinty-Shane-Falco
HEART.

Speaking of our secondary, Bowling Green had plenty of opportunity to put up 14-21 points on broken coverage from our secondary. We are known as DB U…now it’s just looking pedestrian. Bonner? Holy hell…he made the sissiest attempt at a tackle and I am damn glad Bud pulled him out. What is he doing out there? It’s worse than seeing a balding, overweight man in a thong at the beach (well, maybe not...and for obvious reasons, no picture of a fat, old man in a thong will be shown here).

Also, our run defense is also still susceptible. While we didn’t give up a 100 yard rusher, we still gave up 5 yards a carry, which is no bueno. Against Clemson and FSU? Holy *********** will put up ridiculous numbers against us. Speaking of which, did anyone else see that game? Wow. Now THAT is how you play some offense!

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It was nice to see our offensive line open up some holes for our running backs. Then again it was Bowling Green. Can we do the same against Florida State? Miami? Clemson?

Yikes. Pass blocking was hideous. Logan’s numbers were absurdly bad, particularly in the second half. However, did anyone else notice that his right thumb nail basically ripped in half? Gross. Though he has been wildly inconsistent all year, perhaps we can excuse his second half performance based on that injury. He said it was the worst pain he ever felt in his life.

Play calling? Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda. Same story, different week. It sucks. What kind of offense do we run anyway?

voldy_mortivator

Oh yeah...I forgot. 

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This was Bowling Green and we should have beaten them. Though it’s awesome to be 3-1, we have no business being RANKED in the USA Today poll. Seriously, what are the coaches thinking? Now we play Cincinnati, who flat out mollywhopped Pitt earlier in the year. Uh oh. What will happen to us? We’ll find out soon enough. GO HOKIES!!

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