Royals - DFAed Ramirez

Kansas City Royals - Designed P Horacio Ramirez for assignment. The original plan was to put Ramirez adrift in the ocean and let God sort it out, but upon further reflection, the Royals realized that simply releasing Ramirez back into the wild could possibly result in their hitters getting to face him at some point, a shot in the arm that the 13th-ranked Royal offense sorely needs. Also, the MLB CBA does not allow contracts to be assigned in this manner, a clause reinforced when baseball foiled Woody Woodward's plot to have Greg Hibbard garroted at an In-N-Out Burger, his corpse then being deposited into the Strait of Juan de Fuca.