While the NBA game has long-lost the intensity and physicality it had in the eighties, there are still some guys in the league that are pretty frightening. While guys like Dwyane Wade play the game with finesse, there are still some bruisers still lacing them up, though they are seemingly few and far between.
Here are the top five NBA players you’d never want to meet in a dark alley for fear of your own safety:
Chris “Birdman” Andersen
Birdman at least deserved an honorable mention on this list, if for no other reason then to show white guys can be scary too. Don’t be fooled by Kyle Korver and Steve Nash.
Photo Credit: ESPN
5. Metta World Peace
While most of the guys on this list are here because of their physical stature, MWP graces the list because well…. he’s crazy. That dude is seriously not playing with a full deck, and that’s probably what makes him so good on the court as well.
Plus, there was that whole jumping into the crowd and punching out some fans thing (which, watching back all these years later is absolutely surreal.)
Photo Credit: SBNation
4. Ivan Johnson
Johnson is only fourth on this list because of the seniority of the remaining three guys, but he is as scary as they come. I call him Reggie Evans Lite (spoiler alert), because his attitude on the court really reminds me of Evans. Johnson is always looking for contact, and a fight, and brings that vintage enforcer-like attitude to the game. Just give it a couple of years, and Johnson will leapfrog a couple of guys on this list, as he masters the art of enforcing.
Also, the guy has a grill in his mouth. How do you expect me to leave a guy with a grill in his mouth off the list?
Photo Credit: NYPost
3. Reggie Evans
As a Net fan, I can attest to a couple of things about Reggie. He is that guy that you HATE if he isn’t on your team, and LOVE if he is. Though he can’t make a layup to save his life, the pride of Pensicola, Florida will go through whoever is necessary for a rebound. Throughout the season, I became thoroughly convinced that Reggie would punch his mother if she was going for one of his boards. Evans only knows how to play the game one way, and that’s with energy and physicality, and is a master of getting on his opponents nerve.
His only downfall for being completely terrifying is his epic flopping.
Photo Credit: Bossip.com/AP
2. Zach Randolph
Z-Bo is just one scary dude, on and off the court. Randolph is ALL of his 6’9, 260 pound frame, and uses his size to bully opponents constantly. Randolph has also proven he is not afraid to get in your face; just ask Lou Amundson.
The only thing scarier than Randolph’s toughness is his game. When he is knocking down that mid-range jumper, he is as dominant as any big man in the league. He gets some scary brownie points for his old days with a team nicknamed “The JailBlazers,” but he couldn’t quite crack number one on the list.
Photo Credit: BostonHerald.com/AP
1. Kendrick Perkins
Perk gets the nod on this list because of one factor; he is an old school enforcer in the sense that I have rendered him useless otherwise. The other four guys on the list at least bring something else to the basketball court aside from having the ability to kick your ass. Unfortunately, that’s probably the only thing keeping Perkins in the league right now. It’s certainly not any of his basketball skills.
I’m only half-joking. We almost had a heavyweight championship match between Perkins and Randolph, but those darn refs weren’t having it. I’d put a quick 50 on Perk, but I wouldn’t count Z-Bo out by any stretch of the imagination.
That’s just a pay-per-view waiting to happen. Your move, Don King.
By: Frank Santos- Pass the Pill Manager
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