I have always thought that hockey has carried the “best names in sports” torch. But they lean quite heavily on the French Canadians and Europeans. The caliber of players’ names in college basketball have caught and passed hockey’s best.
With 347 D-1 teams, college hoops’ names run the gamut. There are the gems from overseas, unbeatable first names, first name/last name combos for the ages, and the English teacher’s nightmares with off-the-wall punctuations and prefixes.
These are the best 30 names in college basketball for the 2012-13 season:
The Pretty Decent Names:
Cashmere Wright – senior guard from Cincinnati – Four year starter on the All-Name team, smooth operator
Lazabian Jackson – senior guard Arkansas Pine Bluff – And I thought all the lazabians were in the women’s game
Sam Mike – junior forward from Georgia Southern – Mike Mike would’ve certainly made the “Precious Gems” list
Joey King – freshman forward from Drake – This kid better be funny because he’s always just joey king around.
Same Name for $200 please, Alex:
Bak Bak – senior forward from Cal – A Chris Berman Home Run Derby dream…or absolute nightmare
Majok Majok – junior forward at Ball State – Probably not good enough to be Majok Majok of the Orlando Magic
Ella Ellis – senior forward at Army – He can stand under Rihanna’s umbrella, ella, ellis, aye aye aye
Leek Leek – freshman forward at Campbell – When he was little and his parents left home, they had to take Leek.
Deng Deng - freshman swingman at Long Beach State
The Very Decent Names:
Phil Beans – senior center at Holy Cross – C’mon, the guy’s last name is Beans. It’s funny.
Izzy Freeman – freshman center at UMass – The question asked at every criminal trial – izzy free, man?
Lucky Jones – sophomore swingman at Robert Morris – Better than Unlucky Jones, I guess.
Jordair Jett – junior guard at St. Louis – He believes he can fly. He believes he can touch the sky…
Jeremy Bogus – sophomore guard at Jacksonville – Leaving him off this list would’ve totally been bogus.
Galal Cancer – sophomore guard from Cornell – Defenses make it so easy to cure cancer. He gets 5.3 PPG.
The “Woah, check out his name” Names:
Daddy Ugbede – freshman forward at Drake – Let me guess what his parents had on tap if he was a girl.
J’mision Morgan – senior big man at Baylor – J’mision is a man on a J’mission.
Ya Ya Anderson – freshman guard at Radford – Have you met his brother No No?
Ka’Darryl Bell – freshman guard from Bradley
Hippolyte Tsafack – sophomore forward at Memphis – Uh, what?
Grandy Glaze – sophomore forward at St. Louis
Gee McGhee – freshman guard at Chattanooga – GEE MCGHEE!
Sir’Dominic Pointer – sophomore swingman from St. John’s – Much much more powerful than Jim or Tom Pointer
Ice Asortse – junior forward from Stephen F. Austin
Ja’Dante’ Fry – freshman forward at Nicholls State – Ja’Dante’ has been inducted into the All-Apostrophe Hall of Fame
The Precious Gems:
Scootie Randall - senior swingman at Temple
Green Hill – junior guard from Alabama A&M – Tim, Bill, Pete, John, Rex, Scootie…they chose Green. I like it.
Indiana Faithfull - sophomore guard from Wofford – This kid stuck with the Hoosiers through the rough first couple years with Tom Crean.
God’sgift Achiuwa – senior forward at St. John’s – He’s already been inducted to the All Name Hall of Fame along with…
McWisdom Badejo – freshman center at Florida A&M – Why get a McChicken when you could get some McWisdom?