First, UNC, we have this for you (perhaps even more drunken ranting, venting, and expletives included in the full post):
Yeah, that’s right. Straight go f*ck yourselves. We hate your school, we hate your fans, we hate Butch Davis, and we hate your football team. Basketball season has started so at least not all is lost for you guys.
But anyway, of course we would suffer multiple heart attacks in the last five minutes of the game. What else is f*cking new with this team? 24-7 lead with that little time left – no problem, right? PFFFFT. Have you been watching this football team all season? Butchie Boy must have bet on the spread and bribed Stiney and O’Cain with pots of gold and their own island to allow UNC to cover. Yeahhhhh, as if it were that complicated. We just let that happen on our own. It’s just our old-fashioned, over-conservative, and ream-me-up-the-ass football. W…T…F. Why can’t Beamer go for the jugular for once? Seriously, make them feel the pain.
Anyway, we won 24-21. That’s all that matters. But dammit, we would love to truly relax for the last five minutes of the game for once. At least we had this tweet to lighten up the situation: “I love painting my nails while watching football... Makes me feel so well rounded haha.” Sadly, that was a Hokie speaking. So, while you had the dilemma of what color to choose, Yale quarterback Patrick Witt was stuck choosing between playing against Harvard or interviewing for the Rhodes Scholarship. But, we see how well-rounded you really are. For that, you will receive an array of nail polishes to help you achieve continued excellence.
Logan Thomas the Tank Engine was plowing over people again. At one point he even trucked over Danny Coale – wonder how he felt on the receiving end of that? No longer is this a man crush on him, but rather man love. Yes, we’ve graduated onto that kind of level. You’ve seen this picture once and dammit you are going to see it again. In the words of CGally “spread that **** around like herpes, but awesome instead of terrible.” Touché, CGally, touché.
DMFW was quiet. A little too quiet. For whatever reason, Beamer and co. didn’t get the memo that he was the leading rusher in the NATION coming into tonight’s game. He certainly won’t end the weekend in that spot. WTF are we thinking? Just another day in the office of Stiney and O’Cain. As Lawrence would say, “F*cking A”.
Then again, it’d be nice if he would hold onto the football every now and again. At one point we were having nightmares about the 2009 game against UNC. Anyone else think DMFW might pull a RMFW? Effing scary man. Have we really gotten to this point?
So we’ve now won 10 games for the 8th straight season. Woohoo. Anyone else not very excited about it? Yeah, that’s what we thought. Maybe it’s because this thing continues to be empty.
Oh well, it will forever remain one of our hopes and dreams. All we can do is continue to exude dominance in the Coastal Division. In all likelihood, we clinched the Coastal as UVA plays FSU on Saturday. So now it’s time to get pumped for the in-state rivals. Whether they win or lose vs. the Noles, it’s time to get amped for those Zima drinking ******* and show them what real football is about. Good win, Hokies and again, go f*ck yourselves Tarheels!