NYC advice for Brett Favre

Stay the hell away from the Empire State Building. There's a lot of history but mostly it's an aged dump. Sort of like Yankee Stadium. Don't even bother with the observation deck. I'm sure the view from your penthouse will be even nicer, and you don't have to deal with pesky common folks. You've probably already heard about the best bagels in the world. That it's something in the water that makes 'em so tasty. But let me fill you in on a little secret: They're not all that special. They're for damn sure better than the garbage you'll find at an IHOP in Wisconsin, but they're no different than what you'd find in most any other city worth its cream cheese. Bagels are bagels are bagels. The pizza, though, that's definitely head and shoulders above the rest. But if you're spotted eating a piece, and God forbid you throw even one interception, the tabloids will plaster Fatty Brett photos all over the papers, and you'll be...