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Week 8 in college football as explained by Elton John
Oh Houston, your candle burned out long before your legend ever did. AP/John Minchillo, Getty Images/Lisa Lake

Week 8 in college football as explained by Elton John

I have been waiting for this week for a pretty long time. As a fan of the Georgia Bulldogs (when the Northwestern Wildcats aren't playing), I had to wait until the Florida Gators' bye week to enlist the help of Elton John so that I had an excuse not to include "Crocodile Rock" in our weekly recap. Am I petty? Yes. But have the Gators done anything worthy of being included in the recap so far? No. Anyway, enough about the Gators. It's Week 8, which means that college football bowl projections actually might be kind of accurate now, and fans are rapidly checking prices on Kayak for tickets to probable bowl destinations. If you missed any of the action, well, the Rocket Man is here with us to help you catch up.

"Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" - Penn State beats OSU on blocked field goal

 

In one of the most surprising endings to a football game this weekend. Penn State came back from a multi-score 4th quarter deficit to topple Ohio State and put a significant damper on their playoff hopes. Now, they haven't lost everything, so the sun hasn't gone down quite yet for the Buckeyes, but they are no longer the presumptive favorites to win the Big Ten – the Wolverines are. Ohio State now is not in control of their own destiny; of course they'll need to run the table from here on, but they'll also need to root for Michigan (gasp!) and Penn State as well in order to beef up their resume. Most playoff projections still have OSU included, but at this point, OSU fans might be searching themselves and seeing someone else – the Michigan Wolverines – in the playoffs.

"I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" - Leading by 34, Michigan calls fake punt against Illinois

 

For a second, imagine life as a player on Illinois, perhaps on their punt return team. It's the 4th quarter, and your team hasn't scored yet. You're not going to win the game, but you weren't expected to, so you're taking a bit of solace in that. After all, Michigan was the 3rd ranked team in the nation. Your team is able to get a third-down stop around the 45-yard line, and Michigan lines up to punt. You brighten, thinking that the offense will take the field, maybe put a drive together and salvage some dignity after the kick. But Michigan doesn't kick.

I guess that's why they call them the Blues. (People call them that, right?) They just completely demoralize their opponents.

Now, it's important to note that Harbaugh's 4th-and-1 trickeration didn't work, and Illinois ended up getting the stop despite the fake. That said, Harbaugh is known for this. It seems that, on principle, he just never wants to stop putting points up no matter what the scoreboard reads. And that's why all of his opponents so far have been staring into space, with their faces in their hands.

"Candle In The Wind" - Houston is over

 

Listen, you can't feel bad for believing. We all did. ESPN did. For a while there, Houston looked like it could go undefeated and bring an AAC team to the playoff. After the Navy loss, playoff hopes were dashed, and Houston fans came back down to earth. Hopes were still high though – maybe a New Year's bowl against some top-level competition, maybe even a win in that bowl.

Then Saturday happened.

SMU soundly beat the then-11th-ranked Houston Cougars by a margin of 22 points, and now the press is hounding Houston and for good reason. The media created a superstar team in Houston after a 5-0 start, and pain was the price that the Cougars paid. Now it seems to me, Houston's postseason and New Year's Day bowl hopes lived like a candle in the wind.

"Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)" - Mike Leach beefs with Todd Graham

 

This one requires some context. Back on Monday, Washington State coach Mike Leach (without any evidence, mind you) accused Arizona State coach Todd Graham of having a cabal of spies that steal signs from their opponents. He was then fined by the Pac-12 because that is frankly a kind of insane thing for somebody to say. Fast forward to Saturday night, and Washington State's win over the Sun Devils. During the post-game handshake, Todd Graham was caught on tape calling Leach a, well, a compound curse word involving both poultry and fecal matter. Then, during Leach's press conference, he refused to answer any questions related to the Sun Devils, fearing another fine. Hey, a passive-aggressive fight is still a fight, right?

"The B*tch Is Back" - Leonard Fournette goes off

 

Lots of people were worried about Leonard Fournette and how he would look in his first game back after his ankle injury. Well, don't worry. He's back, and he's better than you. It's the way that he moves, the things he can do (oh). The fever's caught LSU, and it led them to a 38-21 victory over Ole Miss. He broke LSU's rushing record in the 3rd quarter, en route to a performance that saw Fournette rack up a total of 284 rushing yards and 3 touchdowns.

The real terrifying thing, though, is that Fournette told reporters that he wasn't 100% during the game. Darrel Williams had to come in and spell Fournette every so often to lighten his workload. Even not at peak physical form, Fournette's performance is now tied for 10th in single game rushing yardage in the SEC. Imagine what he'll be capable of when the b*tch is back for real.

Can you name every Penn State Nittany Lions alum to make the NFL Pro Bowl?
SCORE:
0/39
TIME:
8:00
1972 (9)
Franco Harris
1982 (9)
Mike Munchak
1971 (8)
Jack Ham
1989 (8)
Steve Wisniewski
1956 (7)
Lenny Moore
1961 (5)
Stew Barber
2006 (5)
Tamba Hali
1949 (4)
Chuck Drazenovich
2000 (3)
LaVar Arrington
2010 (3)
NaVorro Bowman
1987 (3)
Shane Conlan
1969 (3)
Ted Kwalick
1972 (3)
Lydell Mitchell
1996 (3)
Marco Rivera
1963 (3)
Dave Robinson
1983 (3)
Curt Warner
1995 (2)
Kerry Collins
1992 (2)
Sam Gash
1955 (2)
Rosey Grier
1996 (2)
Jeff Hartings
2003 (2)
Larry Johnson
2010 (2)
Sean Lee
1957 (2)
Milt Plum
1970 (2)
Mike Reid
1978 (2)
Mickey Shuler
1993 (1)
Richie Anderson
2018 (1)
Saquon Barkley
1977 (1)
Brad Benson
1980 (1)
Bruce Clark
1979 (1)
Keith Dorney
2017 (1)
Chris Godwin
1961 (1)
Dick Hoak
1980 (1)
Lance Mehl
1980 (1)
Matt Millen
2007 (1)
Paul Posluszny
2014 (1)
Allen Robinson
2006 (1)
Michael Robinson
1950 (1)
Fran Rogel
1967 (1)
Dave Rowe

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