Originally posted on Comedic Prose  |  Last updated 10/27/11

I recently had the terrible fortune of watching Bad Teacher. You know that movie with Cameron Diaz and some other people that were supposed to be funny. Yeah that movie was awful. I pity the fool that spent a dime watching or putting that movie together (I went Mr. T style right there and I’m not sure why).

In between watching Bad Teacher and vomiting in the nearest trash can. I began to think about the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Five minutes later I began compiling a list, and here it is in a very particular order, with a little background as to why I can’t stand the movie. Also I’m only ranking the top 5, because it’s still early and don’t have my normal level of disdain.

 

5. Any M. Night Shyamalan movie after 2004

I think Shyamalan is a pitcher that has 100 mph fastball and nothing else. Once we saw his only trick he had nothing else.

4. Hustle and Flow (2005)

I know it got awards, but I don’t get it. The whole concept was wretched.

3. Ali (2001)

I love my boy Will Smith, but he shouldn’t have tried to embody the voice of Muhammad Ali. It was completely distracting, and he didn’t need it. I’ve actually never finished this movie, because after falling asleep on it twice. I gave up on it. The only reason this movie isn’t first on my list is because of Jamie Foxx’s break out performance.

2. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)

This movie actually made me cry. The idea that Eddie Murphy would be grinning in something called, Pluto Nash. Unbelievable!

1. Emma (1996)

This movie flat out stinks. I still can’t get the feeling out of my stomach. The only reason I know this movie exist is because my father rented it base on a suggestion from a blockbuster employee. My father came home and told everyone about how many awards this movie won, and how it was this picture of perfection. So we start watching the film and I wish you could see the look of disappointment on his face 10 minutes into that movie. It was the same look Clint Eastwood wears in every movie. To this day I want to find the blockbuster Douche Bag that recommend Emma, and slap them with snow shovel (Tony Kornheiser style).

 

-Kortney Shane Williams

Comedian and Writer

www.kortneyshanewilliams.com

www.facebook.com/kshanecomedy

www.youtube.com/kshanecomedy

MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Report: Jeter plans to fire multiple Marlins special assistants

Carmelo Anthony sets up YouCaring page to help people in Puerto Rico

Kyle Shanahan takes jab at controversial pass interference call

Le'Veon Bell on precipice of amazing Steelers record

Andre Ward: A champion’s career comes to a close

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Tigers will not retain manager Brad Ausmus

15 key questions for NFL Week 3

Why USC-Cal will be best CFB game this weekend

NFL won’t rule out Ezekiel Elliott being suspended for Week 3

Players with most to prove heading into NBA season

CC Sabathia not worried about booze-fueled celebrations

Sports & Politics Intersect: Mayor Garcetti rolls back the NFL red carpet

The 'Greatest Show temporarily not on turf' quiz

Separating MLS playoff contenders from pretenders

WNBA Finals preview: Lynx look for revenge against Sparks

The 'Chris Sale joins an elite club' quiz

Three Up, Three Down: The home runs just keep on coming

Building on the NFL's positive changes beyond 2017

NFL Week 3 predictions

The 'MLB is as powerful as ever' quiz

After a decade in the WNBA, MVP Sylvia Fowles is ready for the spotlight

College football 2017 Week 4 predictions

10 teams that can unseat the Warriors in 2018

Entertainment News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Yardbarker Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Sports & Politics Intersect: Mayor Garcetti rolls back the NFL red carpet

The 'Greatest Show temporarily not on turf' quiz

Separating MLS playoff contenders from pretenders

WNBA Finals preview: Lynx look for revenge against Sparks

Three Up, Three Down: The home runs just keep on coming

The 'Chris Sale joins an elite club' quiz

Building on the NFL's positive changes beyond 2017

NFL Week 3 predictions

After a decade in the WNBA, MVP Sylvia Fowles is ready for the spotlight

The 'MLB is as powerful as ever' quiz

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker