Found April 10, 2013 on
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The Mets aren’t quite a Lindsay Lohan train wreck, but today in snowy and cold Minneapolis perhaps they can reflect on what went wrong in Philadelphia and some of these very visible cracks:
STARTING PITCHING: At 5-4, the Mets are better than expected and received strong starts in six games, but Matt Harvey and Jon Niese followed by three days of rain isn’t going to happen.
The Pirates, and by extension their fans, should be used to losing by now. Much like a garbage man should be no longer mind hefting around bags of refuse and Lindsay Lohan should be accustomed to court-ordered drug rehab, the Pirates should be nearly immune to the crushing sting of defeat. If 21 consecutive losing seasons and two straight years of contention followed by the crushing...
Today I learned that the 2014 Winter Olympics and Paralympics will take place in Russia, and I may have already known that but this is 2013 so I either packed it away in the POD storage unit in my brain or I deleted it so I could make room for the unofficial Taco Bell Volcano Sauce recipe, because that sh*t’s important. Either way, the 2014 Winter Olympics is something that will...
Jesus Christ: You like him? Honk! Lindsay Lohan? Fall-down dronk, Johnny Rotten: Eighties ponk,Travis Hafner: Our man Pronk!Kim Kardashian: Kanye's bonk, Paris Hilton: What a skonk!Oscar winner: Hilary Swonk, Travis Hafner, New York Yonk.