Maybe I’m a hermaphrodite. It’s the only thing I can think of to explain it. The problem? Simply put: I’m a man but am becoming a woman. I mean, what they hell else would you call a “guy” who sets his DVR every Wednesday night at 9 PM for America’s Next Top Model (ANTM)? If you answered “*****” then we have a winner. The fact that I recently became a father and apparently have the parts necessary to procreate with my wife are misleading. Make no mistake: I’m an ovulating little *****.
And it’s not like I’m watching ANTM because my wife likes it and I’m just watching with her to spend some quality time together, i.e. so I can get laid afterwards. Nope. She HATES the show.
The problem goes back a few years. While living alone in New Brunswick, NJ, I befriended three girls in my apartment building. As I am useless around the house and can’t do any types of repairs or tasks that any self-respecting, normal man can do, they soon accepted me as one of the girls. We would devote 6+ hours ea