New worst classics: The best so-bad-they're-good films of the past ten years

Maybe this movie would've done better if they just called it "Murder Podcast." But no, Naomi Watts is the Xbox-playing parent whose too-brilliant son Henry (Jaeden Lieberher) does the finances and thinks the police captain who lives next door (a wasted Dean Norris) is abusing his stepdaughter (Maddie Ziegler, the dancing girl from all those Sia music videos). We'll spoil it for you: Henry dies and leaves his mom a series of audio logs guiding her through how to murder her neighbor. Before he kicks the bucket, a too-weird sexual tension emerges between him and Sarah Silverman's character. No wonder this disaster cost director Colin Trevorrow his gig to direct a "Star Wars" movie: He can't stop this train wreck from turning into the comedy it's clearly meant to be.

PureFlix's brand of Christian confirmation bias movies are distinct entities to say the least, tackling everything from the life of converted believer Lee Strobel to, uh, the Columbine High School massacre. Yet when it comes to fiction, "God's Not Dead" is a Philosophy 101 course with healthy scoops of melodrama added in for good measure. There's evil Kevin Sorbo playing a goateed professor who demands every student write down the phrase "God is dead" and the kid who vows to fight him. A real line of dialogue from the film: "Who are you trying to fail? Me... or God?" And that's not even covering Dean Cain dismissing his work girlfriend's cancer diagnosis. The sequel was a slight improvement of quality, but it was still damn funny.

What is even happening. It's a budget-CGI "family" story about grocery store brand mascots and a new evil product coming in to dismantle the harmony that the anthropomorphic products have managed to achieve together. Somehow it features the voices of Charlie Sheen, Hilary Duff, Christopher Lloyd, and Eva Longoria – and all to the tune of a reported $45 million budget. Every second of this movie has you wondering "How could this possibly get any worse?" and then somehow it manages to do so. Incompetence of his level must truly be seen to be believed.

For the few who ever thought that there would never be another well-meaning but truly-terrible film director in the vein of Ed Wood or Tommy Wiseau, we present to you James Nguyen, the enthused, but let's say "budget constricted," director of "Birdemic: Shock and Terror." It's basically a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" but made for about five dollars. The birds are literally clipart. When they crash into buildings they explode like dive bombers. The lead actors flail at the imaginary creatures with clothes hangers. The lead actor can't pronounce the word "solar panels" correctly. It's a true work of art.

With a budget of $25 million, FIFA decided to help back a movie about the various presidents of... FIFA. They made it big and fancy and Oscar bait-y, starring Tim Roth, Sam Neill, and Gérard Depardieu. Are you ready for exciting dialogue around trying to find sponsors for soccer? With boring white men being painted as football-loving heroes? It's a bad movie by any standard, but the self-righteousness it paints itself with elevates it into the realm of true comedy.

OK, but seriously: What the living hell is an Oogielove? We may never know the answer, but apparently a viewing of "Madea Goes to Jail" inspired the guy who brought "The Teletubbies" to America to make a bizarro world new version of the interactive kids show – but he made it as a $20 million movie? With C-level guest stars like Toni Braxton and Chazz Palminteri? It's outrageously, horrifically bad, one of the biggest box office bombs of all time, and something stoners will be putting on for years to come.

Unlike Eddie Murphy's infamous $90 million disaster "The Adventures of Pluto Nash," people remembered that Luc Besson made one good sci-fi film two decades ago ("The Fifth Element") so they tossed $180 million at him to make a new futuristic classic. "Valerian" is beautiful to look at but astoundingly dumb, making for a trippy, mindless, tone-deaf good time on your television screen. 

Written by two protein shakes hopped up on Four Loko (we're assuming), it's hard to know what would be the most so-ridiculous-it's-almost-not-ridiculous-but-no-actually-it's-ridiculous thing to highlight in this mess of a testosterone fire. Is it Vin Diesel skiing off of palm trees? Or this actual dialogue exchange between two women: "You think a dog knows how to work a Frisbee? The Master says 'fetch' ... and the bitch listens." "You'd look so sexy with a Frisbee in that mouth."

We rest our case.

Not the first and definitely not the last Gerard Butler movie you're going to see on this list. With kinetic camera work and a so-dumb-it's-awesome plot about death row inmates being controlled in real life by teenagers just playing a video game, this movie can't decide if it's serious or if it's camp throughout its entire running time. It achieves near-"Death Race" levels of absurd, but once the Michael C. Hall dance sequence kicks in (this is a real thing), you know you're in for a treat.

Gerard Butler refuses to ditch his accent. The gods in question transform into Iron Man-styled flying armored versions of themselves to do battle. Chadwick Boseman appears as about 100 versions of himself. There's a fight sequence involving saddles placed on two giant 15-story snakes. It makes no sense. It's terrible. It was a financial disaster. You will want to watch this about eight times in a month. It's incredible. It's the stupidest movie you've ever seen. It's also the funniest.

"The Boy Next Door" tries so hard to be smart and edgy that it basically ends up as an accidental slapstick masterpiece. Notice how in the final fight sequence (in a burning barn, of course), every gunshot is literally the exact same cartoon-like sound? This slightly-better-budgeted Lifetime Original Movie of a flick really tries to be serious (as does Kristin Chenoweth as the stern vice principal), but by the time that the psycho-obsessive young man of the title hands Jennifer Lopez's character a "first edition" of Homer's "The Iliad" – well, now we're in Tommy Wiseau country, folks. 

Akiva Goldsman – the screenwriter who wrote movies like "Batman & Robin" and "The Da Vinci Code" – finally took his hand at directing in this astonishingly indulgent time-traveling romance story that features too many A-list actors to count giving some of the worst performances in their careers. The white horse sprouting wings at the end is a little much, but our favorite cuckoo moment belongs to Will Smith playing the Devil with absolutely zero ferocity (oh, but he has earrings!). It's the clearly the work of everyone doing a favor for an Oscar winner and it's just as bad – and comical – as you can imagine.

Oh, what's a so-bad-it's-good list without a little M. Night Shyamalan in it? There's a lot to choose from here in this Will Smith-conceived sci-fi disaster of Hollywood nepotism, but no matter how hard the movie tries, young Jaden Smith gives the worst progeny-of-a-famous-person performance since Sophia Coppola in "The Godfather Part III." It truly needs to be seen to be believed.

OK, we're technically cheating given this is a made-for-TV-movie, but truly, how can we not mention arguably the greatest act of miscasting of all time? Elizabeth Taylor is an iconic, easily-imitable legend with personality to spare, and here comes Lindsay Lohan, not looking like her and not even remotely attempting to even sound like her. She dead-eyed stares her way through a cheap production with little flourish, but goodness, the movie thinks it's on to something brilliant here. Lohan's been putting out subpar work for years now, but this just might be her accidental comic masterwork.

Make no mistake: Dinesh D'Souza's almost-documentaries make some money, but maybe they would've made more if the end results weren't so cheesy. Basically working as the worst possible answer to Michael Moore's firebrand liberal screeds, D'Souza's self-written/directed/acted work of conservative confirmation bias is poorly executed in every possible regard – yet it's his martyrdom that pushes this particular project over from puppet show to peanut gallery comedy stage. He got busted for a felonious campaign contribution and spends a lot of the film whining about how this was Obama's personal revenge against him. 

The Wachowskis have gone on record saying this is basically the last time any studio is going to give them money, so why not go out with a nonsensical bang? Channing Tatum is a dog-eared space-rollerblading bounty hunter, Sean Bean is apparently a bee hybrid of some sort, Mila Kunis cleans a bunch of toilets, and Eddie Redmayne gives a quiet-loud-quiet performance that almost rivals Elizabeth Berkley's turn in "Showgirls" as the most overacting you can cram onto a single movie screen. It's colorful, it's terrible, and it's a classic for all the wrong reasons.

Fun fact (and, uh, spoiler alert for this 10-year-old shlock-fest): the villain in this M. Night Shyamalan movie is the wind (technically it's the plants, but they carry their suicide spores through the wind). We're not making this up, but the wind is the bad guy. There are action sequences of blowing grass just to illustrate where the wind is. Please watch this movie. Root for the bad guy – which in this case, is the wind.

It's like M. Night Shyamalan doesn't even love the beloved TV anime this film is based on, and instead set out to destroy everything the fans loved about it. The bad special effects, wooden dialogue, miscasting (and whitewashing) would be unforgivable by itself, but honestly the fact that no one can even pronounce the hero Aang's name like they do in the TV show may be the most egregious sin of all. This is a juicy, prime-time hate-watch of epic proportions.

Continuing Will Smith's quest to care as little as possible about films he signs up for, he one-ups himself by playing a grief-stricken father who lost his child and can't come out of his depression, writing angry letters to the concepts of Love, Time, and Death. His partners at the advertising firm (Ed Norton, Kate Winslet and Michael Peña) hire actors to portray these concepts and confront him in the streets in real life, making him think he's crazy and possibly wrestling control of the firm away from him. Think that's nuts? Wait until the ending twist. Then the twist after that. Then yet another twist. It's so stupid it hurts, but you'll be laughing in disbelief by this point, so it all balances out.

Before "The Purge," there was "Zebra Time." You see, in futuristic Tokyo, the evil Zebra Queen (who is also a pop star, because of course she is) institutes a time during the day in which the Zebra Police can basically kill whomever they want. This includes the original Zebraman, the erstwhile Power Rangers-esque superhero from the first movie that almost no one in the U.S. has seen. Directed by Japanese auteur Takashi Miike, this glorious glob of technicolor nonsense doesn't require you seeing the first "Zebraman" to dive head on to its weird, wacky, Zebra-tinted world of low-quality/high-comedy wonders.

"Yo, Saunders, ever been in a department run by some kind of Donald Trump/Mike Tyson mutant combo?" says Rihanna.

We really don't know how else to convince you of this movie's knee-slapping awful brilliance after that sentence. Nor does Liam Neeson, who, for reasons unknown, is also in this movie.