Welcome to the new season of Teeing Off, where Devil Ball editor Jay Busbee and head writer Shane Bacon take a day's topic and smack it all over the course. Suggest a future topic by writing email@example.com, or hit us on Twitter at @jaybusbee and @shanebacon. Today, we're pursuing hard-hitting journalism by considering which golfers need a Johnson Wagner-style makeover.
Busbee: So Johnson Wagner won the Sony Open sporting the best 'stache seen in the Hawaiian Islands since Thomas Magnum. Now, "Johnson Wagner" sounds like an alias to begin with, and the mustache makes it even better. Since golf is almost always an unrelenting parade of well-kempt gentlemen, it's awesome to see someone breaking ranks. Where does Wagner's soup-strainer rank on the scale of golf's great facial hair exhibitionists?
Bacon: First, we need to get the levels of awesomeness in facial hair.
There is the Gary McCord Division, for people that don't even look normal ...