Found March 30, 2011 on Wahoo Blues:

Just 55 hours remain until the start of the Cleveland Indians’ baseball season! For the next two days, Tribe fans will be savoring the moments when their team isn’t battling it out for last place. Not until Friday will we start to shout: “Wait ’til next year!”

Yesterday, we took an optimistic look at the Indians’ Opening Day 25-man roster, as announced by the team on Monday. Today, as you may have inferred, I’m not in as good of a mood.

Here’s a grumpy raincloud’s perspective on the Tribe’s 2011 roster.

Michael Brantley. Hit .246 with a .623 OPS and just 10 steals in 2010—does that sound like the next Kenny Lofton?

Travis Buck. A career .250 hitter who hasn’t even been good in the minors since 2008. Does a hot spring outweigh that?

Asdrubal Cabrera. He missed two months with injuries last season, and his -13.4 UZR/150 trailed only Jason Bartlett among shortstops with at least 800 innings in the field.

Orlando Cabrera. His storied defense is declining, he’s moving to a new position, and he OBPed .303 last year.

Fausto Carmona. No. 1 starters should be able to strike out more than 5.3 K/9; his 4.25 xFIP doesn’t look ace-like.

Carlos Carrasco. Has a 5.96 ERA in six Spring Training starts—and that’s against minor leaguers.

Shin-Soo Choo. N/A (Even in my most downbeat mood, I refuse to even consider the possibility that anything bad might happen to Choo)

Shelley Duncan. Has a .227 career average. The definition of a Quad-A player.

Chad Durbin. Just one season removed from a 5.19 xFIP.

Adam Everett. Career 66 wRC+. Last year, he was 79% worse than the average MLB hitter (21 wRC+).

Justin Germano. Posted a 5.98 ERA in 2009.

Travis Hafner. Last year was his best season since 2007—even if he repeats, he’s still getting paid $13 million to be a non-flashy DH.

Jack Hannahan. Spring numbers, adjusted for his career BABIP: .226/.317/.288. Against minor-league pitching.

Frank Herrmann. His 4.8 K/9 rate was awful, even by Indians standards.

Austin Kearns. Could be facing 120 days jail time if found guilty on charges of DUI and driving without insurance.

Matt LaPorta. In exactly 162 MLB games: .232/.307/.388 with 12 homers, 41 RBI, and -0.1 WAR.

Lou Marson. Hit below the Mendoza line (.195) with a 56 wRC+ in 2010.

Justin Masterson. Falling K/9 rate may be cause for concern, and platoon struggles (lefties hit .290 off him) could prevent his ERA from matching his peripheral stats.

Chris Perez. His 3.69 tERA (the best predictor of future ERA for relievers) was more than double his ERA.

Rafael Perez. 7.38 ERA (!) in 2009.

Vinnie Pestano. 26 is a little old for a rookie.

Carlos Santana. Terrible as it is to think about, you never know how his knees will hold up after his gruesome injury last year.

Tony Sipp. 5.32 FIP suggests he’s in for some regression.

Mitch Talbot. His 1.3 K:BB ratio would have been worst in the game if he’d had enough innings to qualify—the next-worst was 1.6.

Josh Tomlin. Struck out just 5.3 K/9 in 12 MLB stats.

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