Aaron Miles: A Case Study in Terrible Baseball

What do you call a guy hitting under .200 with zero home runs and four RBI in after playing just 47 games in the baseball season's first four months? Jim Hendry would call him a millionaire. He should call him unemployed. Aaron Miles, the "versatile" midget replacement for Mark DeRosa, was signed the during the across-the-board failure that was the Cubs' 2008-2009 offseason, yet he is somehow still on the Cubs' roster. In fact, I would argue that the best contribution Miles has made to the 2009 Chicago Cubs was his time on the disabled list; by being hurt, he wasn't available to underachieve. His on-base percentage, as of Aug. 5, is .235; if Lou Piniella bats Miles second in the Cubs' batting order again, that might be my blood-alcohol level. But, because Hendry was feeling charitable this winter, he gave Miles a two-year, $4.9 million contract. That's right, folks. Miles is here through next season, too. If I...