An addict's guide to watching the post-CC Tribe

CC is gone, the games mean nothing and the team has no life. Still, there are thousands of addicts - including myself - out there who just can't stop watching the Tribe. Here's an addicted fan's guide to making the watching less painful: 1. Skip the games started by Byrd and Sowers - or at least one of the two if you can't do both. TIVO Monday's Home Run Derby instead and watch it on those nights. Same results, less pain. 2. By all means get TIVO if you don't have it. My machine plays back in four speeds. Baseball moves so slowly that you can watch it at playback speed No. 1 and still see all the action, including the type and location of every pitch. If you miss a close play, you can easily see it on the slo-mo instant replay provided by STO or, if you must, you can go back and watch it at the original speed. Use fast-forward Setting No. 3 during commercials. I spent a nice night poolside last night. Came in about 9:15 or so and watched every inning of last night's debacle by 10:20. Added bonus: you can't hear Matt Underwood when the TIVO is on fast forward (though you may miss a cogent comment by Rick Manning from time to time). 3. Unless Cliff Lee is pitching, have the newspaper handy so you can look away during the other team's ABs. 4. Take pee and snack breaks when David Dellucci is batting. 5. Have a big bowl of chocolate ice cream ready for when the pen comes into the game. It will make those innings easier to swallow. 6. Pray for a thunderstorm if you have satellite. At least then you will be forced to miss an inning or so when the worst of the storm is overhead. 7. Appreciate the little things - a slick play in the field, an actual hit with RISP, stuff like that. 8. For those of you who are old enough, pretend the 90s never happened and that this is just that time of year - life is as it has always been. That should hold you for at least a few weeks. By then there may be a new player or two to watch or a few injured players back in the lineup to scrutinize in the hope that they have regained their lost skills along with their health.