Originally written on Monkey with a Halo  |  Last updated 11/15/14
With the new year off to a jump-start, the gyms are packed, the e-cigarettes are flying off the shelves and self-improvement is on everyone’s mind. Every new year brings a clean slate. It can be seen as a 365-day chance for people to re-evaluate and improve themselves. Professional athletes are no exception. Far from it, the pinnacle of human ability is only achieved by continuing to refine and improve one’s mental and physical well being. If Angels players haven’t given any consideration to their New Year’s resolutions, perhaps some suggestions are in order. Joe Blanton, for example, may wish to consider the most time-honored of resolutions. Blanton is the most zoftig pitcher in the Angels rotation since Cy Young award winner Bartolo Colon. With corpulent masses the world over taking up jogging and saying “no” to dessert, Blanton would have millions of people to help him hold accountable as he drops a few pounds. Who knows? Should he slim down enough, he may build speed, With that speed, he may be counted on to burn the basepaths in interleague play as the very first pitcher-pinch runner hybrid. Josh Hamilton, the newest high-profile Angel is a very rich man. Although his contract is backloaded, it is still more than enough to share. The Texas colors that ran through his blood until recently may still taint him in the minds of fans. Hamilton’s resolution then, is to embrace the Southern California life and prove himself a true Orange County boy. When CJ Wilson arrived at the Big A, he showed his Anaheim chops by proclaiming his love for Disneyland churros. That’s a good start, but Hamilton is making almost double what Wilson is. So, if Joshua wants to embrace the city and it’s fans, he may wish to purchase a couple hundred-thousand SoCal residents a basic Disneyland annual pass. There, the fans’ only responsibility will be to share Wilson’s beloved churros with Hamilton, fully ingraining him into SoCal culture and shaking off any of the dust that may have been leftover from his time in Arlington. Speaking of Texas, UT alumnus Vernon Wells is another several-million-dollar man in need of direction. Vernon does his level best to live up to his far-too-large contract. He’s the first to tell you he’s overpaid and he’s willing to bust his ass in the gym to live up to expectations. However, maybe it’s not Vernon’s body that needs strengthening, but his spirit. Many make a resolution to give more to charity. Wells took charity a step further by founding the Perfect 10 Charity to help single mothers and children in need. How much more can one man do? The idea for this charitable donation is a little bit different. Vernon’s resolution is a donation of sorts. The suggestion is that he take half (or more) of his contract earnings, and donate them to the “Help Arte Moreno Pull His Head Out Of His Ass And Sign A Mike Trout Extension” fund. If the Torii Hunter/Josh Hamilton outfielder swap showed us anything, it’s that Arte Moreno is not afraid to spend money, as long as it comes out of someone else’s pocket, and Vernon’s pockets are deep indeed. Speaking of Mike Trout, what might his resolution be? The answer is simple: He doesn’t need to make New Year’s resolutions. If anything, 2013 should get ready to make itself greater just to keep up. [follow]
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Jets contacted Rex Ryan's agent about replacements for him

Justin Gilbert inactive after being late to team meeting

Report: Browns had to search for Manziel after he threw party

Report: Jim Harbaugh to Michigan is done deal

Amari Cooper not a fan of New Orleans, thinks it smells

WATCH: Jennifer Lawrence does Louisville chant at game

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

WATCH: Did Bret Bielema do ‘Horns Down’ gesture?

Devils unveil unique coaching by committee situation

Report: 49ers expect Jim Harbaugh to take Michigan job

Report: Johnny Manziel fined for being late to treatment

Duke Johnson's mother says son will enter NFL Draft

Starlin Castro questioned following nightclub shooting

Detroit bar offering free food, booze if Lions beat Packers

Jameis Winston: I would throw in Richard Sherman's direction

WATCH: Nebraska safety pukes on field, keeps playing

WATCH: Nyquist holds puck for 28 seconds, scores OT winner

WATCH: Kevin Garnett blows in David West's ear

WATCH: Frank Beamer busts a move after bowl win

Bears could clean house after season

Nebraska chancellor booed by Huskers players?

WATCH: Rory McIlroy trolled by 'Sweet Caroline' song

Auburn, Wisconsin players literally ate tons of food

Did Kobe Bryant respond to heckler with the rings count?

Doug Fister bought Starbucks for his Twitter followers

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Manziel was late after throwing party?

Amari Cooper not a fan of New Orleans

Harbaugh to Mich. is done deal

WATCH: Jennifer Lawrence supports Louisville with chant

Did Bielema do ‘Horns Down’?

WATCH: Beamer busts a move

Bears could clean house after season

Nebraska chancellor booed by players?

Johnny Manziel fined by Browns

Castro questioned after shooting

Rory McIlroy trolled with 'Sweet Caroline'

Browns suspend Josh Gordon

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.