Found February 29, 2012 on
The Inertia of Sabathia? From space traceable movement has been detected.
SAN DIEGO (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Astronomers from the Palomar Observatory astro-physics lab located at the California Institute of Technology have discovered that New York Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia is moving one quarter inch per year, confirming the find yesterday afternoon. Bogged down by an ever expanding belly an insatiable appetite for carbohydrates, Sabbathia has been rumored to have moved in the past.
“Though undetectable with the naked eye, we can confirm that Mr. Sabathia is actually moving.” said Dr. Conrad Dimler. “I would describe his movement as glacial, but that would be an insult to glaciers. Bottom line, we’re talking about a very large human being with exceptionally slow locomotion – about a quarter inch over a twelve month cycle. We feel that if he were to shed say, twelve metric tons, we may see a noticeable increase in movement. We’re observing his polar caps next.”
Yankees manager Joe Girardi was thrilled to learn Sabathia is in motion.
“Just knowing that, means he may be able to take advantage of his incentive laden contract.” said the Bronx Bombers skipper.
The astro-physics team at Palomar has tracked large athletes in the past and confirmed movement. In 1997 pitcher David Wells moved nearly a half inch during a seventeen month period, and just last year, NBA power forward, Glen “Big Baby” Davis rotated from left to right causing a reportable tidal swell of nearly two feet near the Cayman Islands.
BEST OF MAXIM
AROUND THE WEB
Kuroda on the mound as a Dodger. Image via Wikipedia
It is no secret that the New York Yankees main focus this Spring Training is to figure out the 2012 starting pitching rotation.
Up to now, skipper Joe Girardi has only confirmed the obvious, that ace CC Sabathia will be the Yankees’ Opening Day starter vs. the Tampa Bay Rays, on April 6th at Tropicana Field.
Now you can add...
Bobby Valentine has only been Boston's manager for a few months, but he's not wasting any time going after the Yanks.
They call it the young man's game and for good reason. The post-steroids industry has fallen in love with run-prevention, which is to say, pitching-and-defense is the new three-run HR. Every GM has the same prototype of the ideal asset, too: under 30 and under contract control.
Look no further than the Rays for a vision of the future. But that doesn't mean everyone is following...
In reaction to Valentine's criticism of his 2001 ALDS flip play at the plate, Derek Jeter thinks Bobby is just bored, so he has to stir some crap up to pass the time.
ESPN New York:
"I'm indifferent, really," Jeter said on Wednesday in regards to comments Valentine made regarding the famous "flip play" Jeter made at home plate against the Oakland...
I am so HAPPY Bobby Valentine is the Head Coach of the Boston Red Sox. It gives me more reason to laugh at/HATE those chokejobs in BOSTON and that cocky piece of **** in Bobby V. For A guy who HAS NEVER WON A DIVISION TITLE IN HIS LIFE, and had to coach in ******* Japan cause no one wanted his big mouthed, egotistical ass; TO DISS DEREK JETER (not in a joking manner) is pathetic...
This time of the year used to be when we had the annual debate over how Alex Rodriguez was going to fit in with the rest of the team. Those days are over, but questions about Rodriguez remain. After four consecutive seasons of health issue and production decline, can A-Rod stay healthy and give the Yankees 25 HRs/90 RBI/ and an OPS around .850? Just a year ago that might seem to...
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) On the final day of February, Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter were dragged into the first Yankees-Red Sox stir of the year.
New York Yankees reliever Joba Chamberlain has thrown off a full mound for the first time in eight months after elbow ligament replacement surgery.
New York Yankees managing general partner Hal Steinbrenner said Thursday it is his goal to lower the team's payroll to $189 million over the next few years.
27 championship rings and this is the best you could do on photo day? A-Rod must have been furious.
My middle school had better options. Remember the laser beams!
Alex Rodriguez laughed off Bobby Valentine's comments about his 2004 scrap with Jason Varitek, then made a brief statement and ducked through the crowd of reporters surrounding his locker.
Yankees reliever Joba Chamberlain threw off a full mound Tuesday for the first time in eight months after elbow ligament replacement surgery.
Bobby Valentine has only been wearing a Boston Red Sox uniform for about two weeks and he's already taking a few jabs at the archrival New York Yankees. Many thought that the outspoken manager's arrival in Boston could add even more spice to one of the most heated rivalries in professional sports, and it hasn't taken long for that to hold true.
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">This Week in New York Yankees History <div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">
<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">February 26th - March 3rd...