Astros await homecoming after harrowing Pirate ordeal

After a four-day, three-game ordeal with Pirates, the Houston Astros will return home to their loved ones tomorrow. “It’s been difficult,” said Astros manager Cecil Cooper said early Thursday. “In this day and age, who’d have thought we’d be talking about Pirates?” Artist's rendering of terrifying Pirate. After years of mismanagement and irresponsibility, Pirates have emerged as a nuisance to all who encounter them. The Astros came under attack Monday, when desperate Pirates defeated them 7-0. After a quiet Tuesday, a tense standoff ensued Wednesday as Houston again encountered Pirates. Mike Hampton heroically fought back the Pirates, anchoring a 4-1 Astros win. By all indications, the Astros will again encounter Pirates today at 12:35, before airlifting to safety. “I can’t wait to get home,” said...