Ryan Braun is engaged to Larisa Fraser.
I'll let that sink in for a moment for my female readers.
(flips through a magazine)
(looking at my non-existant watch)
(asking if you're alright in there)
Alright, we good? Good.
Ryan Braun is engaged to Larisa Fraser, his model girlfriend of a couple of years now. We know this because the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel employs numerous who employees who have close personal relationships with Brewers players that give them scoops on everyth- hahahaha. I'm just playing. We know this because one of the Busted Coverage dudes reads her "food and modeling" blog. (Seriously, that's a real thing.) You guys may remember Busted Coverage as the site that replaced Front Row Amy with another girl with looks for a game that wasn't even on TV. Cool, I guess.
Anyways, they broke the story and Ryan Braun is ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED. This is the most devastating news to Wisconsin females since your mom found out Brett Favre was texting to d-pics ...