Former Major League outfielder Carl Everett, mostly famous for denying the existence of dinosaurs and for saying Adam and Eve were real because “someone saw them,” was tossed in a Tampa jail on Tuesday for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. According to the arrest affidavit, Everett and his wife got into an argument so he did what any sane, rational human being 39 years into adulthood would do — he put a gun to her head, then broke two different telephones so she couldn’t call 911. Well, sure.
Everett’s attorney, Clinton Paris, said it’s a family matter, which can hopefully be resolved quickly and efficiently.
Paris added, “he only did it because he loved her.” He didn’t, but he might as well have.
The best part of the story (and keep in mind that there really aren’t any best parts to this story) is that the report said he held a “silver handgun” to her head, and while that’s probably just a colo...
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