Originally posted on It's Always Sunny in Detroit  |  Last updated 8/23/12

Minnesota Twins outfielder Denard Span missed his tenth straight game because of a shoulder injury.  He was able to take batting practice Tuesday, but was not healthy enough to lace them up Tuesday or Wednesday.  The frustrating part for the Twins – they don’t know what’s wrong with Span.  I’m no doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, so I know that medical tests are beyond belief these days.  Someone can lay in a tube for an hour and doctors can tell what’s wrong with him.  It’s nuts.

That’s where the rub lies with Span.  He’s too claustrophobic to lay inside an MRI machine for 35 minutes.

“I don’t know what else to say. It’s embarrassing that I couldn’t get it done today, but bottom line, I stayed there for an hour trying to get it done. Just couldn’t do it, man. I tried my best. When they strapped me in there and told me I couldn’t move for 35 minutes, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t have enough Valium.”

I guess this just goes to show you that professional athletes are people too.  It also shows you that doctors aren’t smart enough to build an MRI room where people can do their every day activities while getting tested.  You know, give Span a couch, an Xbox and maybe a cold Zima (hey, I don’t know) and that magnetic resonance image would have been done days ago.

What’s up now, doc?

Hardball Talk 

Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Knicks' sellout streak at Madison Square Garden halted at 201

Rex Ryan: Probably ‘a reach’ for Karlos Williams to play Sunday

Lions OC explains Golden Tate's limited role on offense

Dez Bryant doing light running as rehab from surgery continues

Report: Barnes punched Fisher, was begged by child to stop

Former NFL head coach Lindy Infante passes away at 75


Dion Lewis signs two-year contract extension with Patriots

Curry: Harden’s MVP talk ‘doesn’t change what happened’

Jason Garrett addresses Greg Hardy's comments about Tom Brady's wife

Owner on Deflategate: 'Made a mountain out of a mole hill'

Lee: Celtics will turn heads, have similarities to Warriors

Rex makes players do push-ups in practice after penalty calls

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Women in sports this week: Is this 2015 or 1965?

Three reasons each AL team can win the pennant

Garrett addresses Hardy's comments about Gisele

Five outrageous predictions for NFL Week 5

Rex makes players do push-ups in practice after penalty calls

Weeden compares QB situation to 'backing up Derek Jeter'

Pirates fan dresses as Steve Bartman, fails to curse Cubs

LeBron takes in-game selfie with fans in Cincinnati

MLB postseason power rankings

NHL awards predictions for the 2015-16 season

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Follow Yardbarker