Originally written on Baseball Professor  |  Last updated 11/14/14
Editor’s Note: It’s like that show Mythbusters except without the awesome handlebar mustache and while you won’t see anything blown up visually, prepare your mind for an internal explosion.1. Bryce Harper hurt himself because he “plays the game the right way”I’m not gonna let Harper get away with this one. Bryce Harper didn’t hurt himself because he cares more about the game than he does his body. Bryce Harper hurt himself because while he was mindlessly chansing down a fly ball in L.A. (whilst taking a poor route might I add) he forgot where he was on the field and was then met with a mouthful of Dodger Stadium.It was 1,000% a combination of his fault and his lack of field awareness. I’m glad he’s OK but this play belongs on his lowlights, rather than his highlight reel like it is being treated. If this is “playing the game the right way” then Jason Bay is a Gold-Glover, and that’s a clown statement bro. 2. Kenley Jansen isn’t a top 30 RP until he become the closerJansen is a top 5 relief pitcher in all of baseball. Fantasy-wise, he needs to be owned regardless of what job he has. Let me throw some numbers at you because my street credibility is probably pretty low in terms of actually giving fantasy advice.He’s on pace for 80 IP right now. With a career K/9 of 14.28, if you extrapolate that over 80 innings, that’s around 120-130 strikeouts. You add those strikeouts to the already stellar ERA and a sub 1.00 WHIP you have a valuable player. If (when) he gets the closing job, the innings will probably come down to sub-70 for the season, lowering his strikeout total, but then he’s getting saves.If he’s somehow available in any league of any size, he needs to be added. BY YOU! It seemed he had the closer job the other night before the Dodgers went back to Brandon League, so this gives you one last chance to trade for him or pick him up.3. 7-Up TEN tastes like regular 7-UpNo it does not.4. Adam Wainwright is a top 10 fantasy pitcherWainwright isn’t top 10, not even close. He is top 5, hands down. Wainwright is right up there with Yu Darvish, Clayton Kershaw, Justin Verlander, and Felix Hernandez. He’s not just back from Tommy John surgery, he’s better than he ever was before it.His walk rate is lower than ever, and it doesn’t look like a fluke. His LOB%, HR/FB%, and BABIP are all showing he’s not getting lucky, he’s actually getting a little unlucky. An ERA below 2.00 is extremely rare, but if someone does it this season I’m taking Wainwright. He won’t get Darvish’s or Verlander’s strikeouts, but if you’re looking for an elite ERA and WHIP, I can’t with a good conscience recommend anyone over Wainwright. We’re seeing something special this season, mark my words.5. I date Kim Kardashian, drive Italian sports cars with astounding artistry, am constantly hounded by ESPN to be an analyst, drink many fine wines along the coast, save many large ships from sinking with my bare hands, and sweep a hell of a driveway.I get this all the time, I don’t have a driveway. Otherwise, everything else checks out.Next week I want to take a few reader questions. Fantasy related or not, I will answer them with the same time, care, sincerity, and seriousness that you expect out of Foul Paul! Post your questions in the comments section. Please ask questions or else I’m going to have to ask myself questions under fake names which could (will) get out of hand.
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