How should the Indians spin their Victor Martinez giveaways?

The Indians were an AL Central favorite heading into this season and there's no reason to think that those around the team didn't feel the same way. After all, how can you explain the $20 million handed to reliever Kerry Wood? Or the scheduling of not one, but two Victor Martinez promotional giveaways in the week after the trading deadline? Certainly the Indians marketing people couldn't have foreseen the complete collapse that led to the front office ridding itself of six top players — including the popular catcher — like they were ashtrays at a garage sale. But what's done is done and the Tribe has confirmed to CNBC's Darren Rovell that it will awkwardly go ahead with tonight's Victor Martinez bobblehead giveaway and Thursday's Victor Martinez chest protector backpack promotion despite trading Martinez to the Red Sox on Friday afternoon. Being the fine folks we are, we've compiled a couple of suggested lines for the Indians to use wh...