Alex Rodriguez isn’t the dumbest guy on the planet like everyone once believed. He’s not. He’s actually smarter than everyone. This entire time I thought to myself, “Wow, A-Rod must be at Forrest Gump’s IQ level with all this nonsense.” Today, I realized I’m the Forrest Gump, and A-Rod is legitimately owning me.
It’s a new year — and a new blond for New York lothario Alex Rodriguez. The Yankees slugger sealed his new relationship status with a public kiss from gal pal Torrie Wilson Tuesday night when the two sat courtside at the Los Angeles Lakers-Houston Rockets game in L.A.
I’m sorry I thought you were a loser. I’m sorry I thought you were gay sometimes. I’m sorry I thought you were socially inept. You’re a magician. You’ve managed to make millions of dollars, and run through chicks I could only dream of with one skill, and one skill only. I’m such an idiot for thinking you were a complete *******. Keep up the good work dude.