Originally posted on The Outside Corner  |  Last updated 5/24/13
RANK TEAM CHANGE SCHEDULE COMMENT 1 +2 vs. MIN vs. PIT Enjoy Miguel Cabrera while you can because if he keeps going this way, teams are just going to stop pitching to him. 2 -1 @ SEA vs. ARI Normally we give bonus points for calling up a top prospect, but for some reason Ron Washington insists on platooning Jurickson Profar thus creating a dilemma for the Watchability Committee. 3 +1 @ LAD @ KC Normally losing a pitcher like Jaime Garcia would cause us to downgrade a team, but the Cards always find a way to replace fallen players with someone who is better and/or more fun to watch. 4 -2 @ NYM @ TOR You better watch the Braves now before the rest of their bullpen blows out their elbows. We're praying for you, Craig Kimbrel. 5 -- 0 vs. CLE vs. PHI Terry Francona returning to Fenway? Give us a second to go grab some popcorn. 6 +4 vs. SD @ TEX Patrick Corbin is officially appointment viewing now. 7 +5 @ BOS @ CIN An actual compelling interstate rivalry series plus a trip to Boston makes the Indians our pick for best matchups of the week. 8 +5 @ TOR @ WAS The arrival of Kevin Gausman pleases us greatly though it would please us more if he was still allowed to eat powdered donuts between innings. 9 -- 0 vs. CHC vs. CLE The neverending battle between wanting to bask in the glory of Joey Votto or wanting to rage into the night that Dusty Baker insists on batting Cozart and Izturis in the two-hole marches on. 10 +1 @ HOU vs. SF The streakiest team in baseball is running hot again, so hop on board. 11 -5 @ TB @ NYM With the injury bug biting the rotation hard now, we can't help but wonder: can Vernon Wells pitch? 12 -5 vs. PHI vs. BAL The star power is great and all, but it can only cancel out the pain of watching a team with a sub-.300 OBP for so long. Sorry, Nats, but I think we are breaking up with you. 13 -5 vs. LAA vs. STL Chris Getz is batting leadoff. Move along, folks. There is nothing to see here. 14 -- 0 @ SF @ HOU We are afraid that if we watch the Rockies more we might have to admit they are actually good. 15 +2 @ MIL @ DET With Francisco Liriano the latest to join the ranks of the wildly overachieving Pirate rotation, it is time to get on board with the Pirate magic. 16 -1 vs. COL @ OAK We were in favor of removing Vogelsong from the rotation, which is only happening by injury now, but we failed to account for the Giants' complete lack of a replacement for him. 17 +2 @ ARI @ SEA Jedd Gyorko looks like he could be fun to watch, at least until 2015 when he takes over from Chase Headley as the token Padre mentioned in a trade rumor every seven minutes. 18 +9 @ KC @ LAD The Angels are playing well again and Jered Weaver might be back next week. Oh, and there is that Mike Trout guy playing out of his mind. That might be worth checking out. 19 +3 vs. BAL vs. ATL Buckle up, Joey Bats looks like he is going to go off again. 20 -4 vs. STL vs. LAA The Dodgers are officially a side show now, but in a strangely compelling way mostly because Don Mattingly might get fired in the middle of a game. 21 -3 vs. NYY vs. MIA There's been a whole lot of Josh Lueke lately. This we cannot abide. 22 -2 vs. PIT vs. MIN Lohse is hurt, Weeks is a disaster and Gomez has come back to earth. At least they still have Braun and Segura. 23 -2 @ DET @ MIL Losers of nine in a row, these are the Twins we expected to see all season. 24 -1 vs. TEX vs. SD Demoting Jesus Montero was a good first step towards putting a competent team on the field, now if only they could only do something about Aaron Harang and Brandon Maurer and Joe Saunders and Dustin Ackley and... 25 +3 @ CIN @ CWS We very much approve of activating Matt Garza and opting against a six-man rotation. 26 -1 @ WAS @ BOS Utley and Chooch are down with injuries, and just like Philly's watchability ranking. 27 -3 vs. ATL vs. NYY The Mets are lucky they have the Marlins in the same division to distract everyone from how terrible they are. That should become more readily apparent if/when they get pantsed by the Braves and Yankees this week. 28 -2 vs. MIA vs. CHC The White Sox facing the Marlin and Cubs might be the worst slate of games for any combination of teams this season. 29 -- 0 vs. OAK vs. COL If you think about it, the stadium vendor bringing the snow cones into the bathroom stall with him is the perfect metaphor for watching the Astros. They look kind of fun and decorate colorfully, but ultimately they are just covered in crap. 30 -- 0 @ CWS @ TB Same crappy Marlins but now with that fresh spitball smell! [follow] Mike Trout is one pace for 34 homers and is currently third in average home run distance. But, yeah, his power is totally going to regress.
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