Originally posted on Razzball  |  Last updated 9/28/12

The .245 AVG is going to look ugly next March but 31 HRs and 80+ R/RBI has been nirvana for anyone (like Rudy) who plucked Josh Reddick off free agency in shallow leagues this year.  The power is real and, unlike the last A’s power hitter (Jack Cust), he is an above average fielder.   So the A’s now have 2/3 of a phallic OF foundation with Reddick and Yoenis.  Where is Lance Johnson Jr or Dick Pole Jr when you need them?  For 2013, I imagine the only flavor missing from his Chick-o-Stick is average, i.e., it may never be anything to write home about.  But if you’re writing home about Reddick’s average, you need new material.  Here’s hoping he doesn’t become Ryan Ludwick Part II.  Ryan Ludwick, “I never authorized a sequel.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Yoenis Cespedes – 1-for-4 with his 22nd homer, which was one of the three homers off Adams, leaving him looking he needed a mortician, but then the Rangers would be in a Lurch.  You rang?

Derek Norris – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs with his 6th homer.  He’s also batting .195.  BTW, I Googled his backup George Kottaras and the first thing Google suggested was a different kind of back up.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Brandon Moss – 1-for-4 with his 20th homer.  Everything was carrying so well in Texas yesterday, it’s a good thing Rudy didn’t go outside with his daughter.  She might’ve floated right out of his arms.

Mike Napoli – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer.  Only about two weeks away from Tim McCarver talking about Napoli turning up his defense for the playoffs.  As if one can turn up defense.  And if they could turn it up, isn’t it a bit lazy of them to not play defense all year?  Kill me now.

Matt Harrison – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, securing his 18th reason why Wins are totally arbitrary.  Check out Harrison’s xFIPs for the past two years.  If only his great-grandfather, William Henry, had such luck.

Alex Presley – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer.  I told you he was a sleeper!  *slowing backing out of the room*  What, he has good upside.  *dodges tomatoes*  Maybe next year.  *runs out of the room*

Andrew McCutchen - Left yesterday’s game with knee pain.  Three doubloons says he plays again.  Good luck trying to collect doubloons.  Who even has doubloons?  Argh, not me.  I mean, ugh, not me.  Quick, cover the eye patch!

Doug Fister – 7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  That sound you hear is woo-woo-woo-ing from the Doug pound.

Wily Peralta – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Sonavawaivers!  I was thisclose to picking him up for this game, but he was facing the Reds and…Dah, gun shy!  Oh, and he left the game with right biceps tightness.  Or is it right bicep?  I don’t know; I should’ve picked him up!

John Axford – 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  I did have this schmohawk.  Terrific showing, Axford, how about for an encore you tell me I was adopted and my real father is Vanilla Ice?

Carlos Gomez – 2-for-3 with the slam (17) and legs (36).  Gomez?  But I used up all my good Addams Family puns in Yoenis’s blurb.

Todd Frazier – 1-for-4 and his 19th homer.  Please don’t let me down next year when I draft you.  Should I ask again in February?  Okay, done.

Dan Haren – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks to lose the game and move his record to 12-12 as the Angels lost a chance to move to within one game of the Wild Card…Uh, the 2nd Wild Card.  Is it the Wilder Card?  Any pitcher can get lucky with ERA *cough* Matt Harrison *cough* But Haren looks like he’s officially a number three to four starter.

Albert Pujols – 2-for-5 with a run.  Mike Scioscia said Pujols was dealing with leg issues and that was why he was DH’ing and that could be the reason why he only has one homer this month.  Obviously, Pujols’s legs aren’t as good as when he was in his thirties.

Hisashi Iwakuma – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks to lower his ERA to 3.32.  Riddle me this one!  Haren or Iwakuma next year?  Yup.

John Jaso – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer.  John Jaso Jingleheimer Schmidt actually makes the top 20 catcher recap rankings post that’s coming as soon as the season ends.  Yeah, offense is poor across the board.  Bring back steroids!

Mark Teixeira – Played in a simulated game, even though there were three kids who said they had next on the Wii.  What a jerk!

Manny Acta – Fired from the Indians.  They didn’t like how Manny Acta was always looking for direction and kept forgeting his lineups.

Jordan Pacheco – The Fight Doctor is doing his best smelling salt impression to wake up the Rockie fans missing CarGo and TuLo, going 2-for-4 with a HR, 2 R, and 3 RBI.  Unfortunately, this is his last home game of the year so we’re TKO’ing him as a buy.

Dexter Fowler – Likely done for the year.   What’s the matter, Fowler?  Chicken?

DJ LeMahieu – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer.  He’s now batting over .500 in the last week.  Sure wish the Rockies were still playing home games, but this hot schmotato may have enough fuel to get him to October.

Anthony Rizzo – 3-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer.  Maybe I got a tainted medulla oblongata from Hosmer, but is there any way that Rizzo doesn’t disappointment next year?  I might just wait for him in 2014 when he’s either in the 2nd round coming off a great sophomore effort or coming off a poor season and in the 10th round.

Eric Hosmer – Diagnosed with a shoulder strain.  But who’s going to get me my 0-for-4′s?  What will I ever do without you, Hosmer?  Psst!  Hey, are we sure he didn’t have a shoulder strain the whole season?

Brandon Morrow – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.09.  I liked him coming into the year, then sometime around June I let up on the Morrow throttle and said to sell because he wasn’t getting Ks, even though the walks were better.  Well, I backed into one because he ended up hurting himself and missing two months.  The Ks haven’t been great in September, and now the walks are back.   I’m gonna want to like him next year, but I’m not sure I can.

Brett Lawrie – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer.  The lucky fan who caught the ball said the ball was hot to the touch and when he turned it over it read, “#yabuddy.”

Melky Cabrera – Bochy said Melky won’t be asked back for the playoffs.  Let’s see who’s going to do their website updates now.

Marco Scutaro – 1-for-4 with his 7th homer.  Hitting over .400 in September and only has two games without a hit all month.  Seeing that he has ten more RBIs on the year than Hosmer makes me want to listen to Adele and eat a pint of ice cream.

Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks and his 21st win.  I hate to say it, but I think this was his last real start of the year.  Even if he’s scheduled to go next week, the Nats are just going send him out for one maybe two innings to keep him fresh.  We had a good time with Gio this year, and don’t forget what ‘pert told you to draft him as your ace.  You’re welcome.

Michael Morse – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and 2 homers.  2011 called and said, “Hey, that’s where you went!”

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-4 and his 17th and 18th steals.  What is it with Arizona?  Non-speed guys go crazy on the base paths and speed guys don’t steal like they should.  I blame a break down in the amphetamine trade.

Tommy Hanson – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Not sure what happened to Hommy Tanson, but even on the days he pitches his team into position to win, he doesn’t look all that great doing it.  Will need to reevaluate in January.  January Grey, “Sure, leave this crap on me.  How about I wash your car while I’m at?”

Giancarlo Stanton – Now looking at a possible Saturday return.  If Saturday turns to Sunday, they’re gonna have to put me on 24-hour watch.  My heart can only take so much!

Yonder Alonso – 3-for-4 and one run.  He’s hitting near .300 in the 2nd half of the year with 6 homers.  I don’t know how many homers that would be over a year, but it’s a lot.  Or around 12.

Luis Cruz – 3-for-5 with two RBIs.   The waivers are filled with guys that don’t have much power or speed that are hitting for a good average.  ”Hello, I am Omar Infante.  And I have created you in my image.  And I have created a piece of toast with my likeness so they will know I am real.”

Bobby Parnell – Secured the save yesterday after Jon Rauch looked like a clumsy, tall goof, and he also pitched poorly.

Ike Davis – 1-for-4 with his 31st homer.  He’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  Cougs calls it “the last post until she sees me for the weekend.”

R.A. Dickey – 7 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 13 Ks, notching his 20th win.  More like R.A. Lucky!  Am I right?!  Or how about, more like Not A Dickey!  RIGHT?!  No?  Okay, how about, more like R.A Suckey I Didn’t Draft Him?!  Are these getting better or worse?  Where am I and how did I end up in Tijuana wearing a donkey costume?  Guys and four girls?  You there?  Hello?  Hello?  I’m cold.

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