Paul Sullivan Has A Problem, Pt. 560,731

As we’ve documented here in the past, Frumpy Hobbit Paul Sullivan has already admitted, on live TV and in print, that he cannot conform to the ethical standards of his profession, in that he provides intentionally poor coverage to athletes he feels have slighted him. And he’s shown this time and again this season. In addition to being a purveyor of inept, clumsy prose, he’s also a very cruel and petty writer. So it should come as no surprise that he offers a laughably skewed version of events from last night’s postgame PC with Carlos Zambrano. To wit: The Cubs won for the seventh time in eight games, and are 5 1/2 games behind the wild-card leading Rockies with 19 remaining. Geovany Soto homered and drove in three runs, Derrek Lee reached 101 RBIs and the Cubs drew 12 walks. But Zambrano’s histrionics overshadowed everything. During the five-run fifth, he showed up outfielder Bobby Scales by making faces and waving his hands when Scales didn’t throw home on Ryan Braun’s run-scoring single. Pitching coach Larry Rothschild came out to calm down Zambrano, but the pitcher made no eye contact during the visit. I guess Paul doesn’t read the game threads here, but whatever Z was doing didn’t overshadow any of the positive stuff for us. In fact, I thought Z was remarkably composed as Ryan Theriot’s Homestand of Horrors fielding his position continued last night with 3-4 more misplays. But reporting the facts of the matter wouldn’t really fit into Sully’s neat little narrative about Z not being able to control himself. But this is only the least of Sullivan’s unethical and dishonest tactics. Sully then goes on to discuss the postgame presser: Afterward, Zambrano was in no mood to discuss a Tribune report that the Cubs plan to ask him to waive his no-trade clause and shop him this off-season. After initially contacting the Tribune about the report, Zambrano’s agent, Barry Praver, declined to comment, as did the Cubs. “Why, are you guys our general manager now?” he said. “I don’t care. If the Cubs want to trade me, it’s because they don’t like me anymore. I have to move on. What else can I do? I just move on.” Zambrano added he doesn’t want to waive his no-trade rights, then left, saying: “That’s enough.” To anyone who actually heard or saw the postgame PC, that last sentence should come as a most odious misrepresentation of facts. Eliding is little more than a shoddy journalist’s parlor trick, Paul, and it comes as no surprise that it’s your preferred tactic. When facts don’t fit the narrative, just gloss them. Unfortunately, some of us actually listened to the damn PC. So you know how we know you’re lying? Because here’s what really happened: Z was asked about the rumors. Obviously unhappy about them, he refused to comment. Smelling blood in the water, you vultures swooped in. Z was then asked three straight times if he wanted to leave Chicago. Each time he responded “No.” On the third time, when Z realized he was the smartest person in the room, and that you unimaginative fucktards were just going to gladhand one another by re-framing each other’s questions all night, he left. You guys had your answer, there was no need to push the matter further, but just like with Bradley, you poke and prod the more irritable players so they do something you can twist into a story to fit your lameassed narrative about why they will always fail. We see you, Paul. We know what you’re about. You may fool your editor, but you’ll never fool us. You are unprofessional, dishonest, and unscrupulous a person as has ever stepped foot in this town. Between you and Carlos Zambrano, one of you sucks at his job, and the other one is Carlos Zambrano.