Originally written on SILVERMAN: On Sports  |  Last updated 11/19/14

So I was thinking, why don’t I go and catch a Marlins game. The Astros are in town tonight.

You know, new ball park, new manager (suspended), new unis, a home run sculpture that looks like an ant hill.

How do I get there? Well, that is why I have an iPhone. Siri can find anything, right?  Well, my lovely assistant found the new home of the Fish.

Turns out the shiny new ballpark is permanently closed.

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The reasons are unconfirmed but speculation is running wild…

Ozzie Guillen must have really pissed off the Cuban community.

It turns out it is bad karma to tear down a legendary stadium like the Orange Bowl.

The uniforms are so so bad, the players walked out.

Billy the Marlin torched all the grass after I renamed him Roberto the Rainbow Trout. (The redesigned mascot has a rainbow bill below his cap)

My favorite rumor, Big and Little Enos, the two leaders of the organization, moved the team to Montreal where they already ruined one, once proud baseball franchise.

Regardless of the actual reason, you can check it out for yourself. Go to your Maps app and type in Marlins Ballpark Miami and see if you get what I got.

I wonder if the new stadium will reopen in time for Guillen’s return to the dugout?

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