Originally posted on The Show Speak  |  Last updated 10/2/11
Boston Red Sox Baseball Club-Fenway Park
ATTN: Mr. Theo Epstein
4 Yawkey Way
Boston, MA  02215

RE:  Managerial Position

Mr. Epstein,

Please review my resume which I have included below for the position of Manager of the Boston Red Sox Baseball Club.  I believe you will find my passion, knowledge, and optimism for the game of baseball to be a tremendous asset to your organization.

Please send me a direct message on twitter @OldNFLBalls to schedule a convenient time for an interview.


Craig Turley
TBD (Maybe Heidi Watney Can Help?)
Boston, MA 02215
(XXX) 867-5309

Objective:  To effort for a reputable Major League Baseball franchise (with a minimum $170M payroll) where my management skills to develop, train, motivate, check themselves before they wreck themselves, and provide critical thinking techniques to achieve executive management expectations.

Experience:
Baseball Fan (1969-present)
Multiple Leagues, States, Countries

  • 30 years of baseball and softball playing experience.  Multiple Little League/Pony League All Star teams, All Conference MSM, and contributor to the Riverton Summer Baseball League.
  • 4 Time World Series Attendee:  1987 in St. Louis, 1990 in Cincinnati, 2001 in Arizona, and 2006 in St. Louis.
  • Familiar with multiple major league baseball ballparks including (but not limited to) concession stands, team stores, ballpark dimensions, ballpark parking, and bobble head nights.
  • Social Media savvy - I follow and track facebook and twitter fan followings for each major league baseball team.
  • Comfortable in a multi-cultural setting as I have encountered baseball in virtually every US state, Mexico, Panama and The Dominican Republic.  (This does not include temporarily following the Nippon Professional Baseball League or watching cricket in Barbados.)  I transcend race hombre.
Psychology Management (2008-current)
Individual, Group, and Crisis Management
Primarily Arizona and Texas

  • Red Sox Nation is depressed - I know depression.  I write a depression blog, I am on medication for a major depressive disorder, and meditate daily to focus on tasks at hand.  I could help an entire "nation" with my success of overcoming a major depressive disorder. 
  • Group therapy expertise - I have participated in several group therapy situations evaluating and discussing the things I have seen, the experience of loss and pain that I have suffered, and healthy solutions of the tornadoes of my path.  Tell me Red Sox Nation couldn't benefit from this.
  • Familiarity con EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and reprocessing psychotherapy.  This is utilized to resolve the development of trauma-related disorders caused by exposure to distressing events such as poor April starts and September tumbles.  I can help with how to adequately process these dysfunctional stored memories.
  • The ability to call a spade a spade when dealing with deep depression and sad **** by making changes.  Student of "sometimes you just have to get back in the game" mentality. (Philosophies of Kenny Powers)
Business Management
United States of America  (1993-2009)

  • Multiple Fantasy Sports Leagues -  I have participated, commissioned, produced copy, co-managed and won multiple fantasy sports leagues through the years.  I consistently study match ups, weather reports, and determine roster movement accordingly.  I have earned a reputation as a shrewd, but fair manager.
  • Facilitator of Organizational Advocacy for the betterment of the franchise.
  • Sponsored multiple youth baseball league teams and softball teams.
  • Strat-O-Matic management experience.

Education
The University of Arizona (1990-1003)
Tucson, Arizona

  • Bachelors of Science, Finance Emphasis
  • Your last manager went to the U of A and won two World Series championships in Boston-I went to the U of A.  Coincidence?  I think not.
Miscellaneous
  • Familiar with the .unwritten rules of baseball
  • Prefer 4-5 star accommodations.
  • "Sweet Caroline" is one of my favorite songs.
  • I may (or may not) be a ninja.
  • Currently writing "Everyone is Full of **** - Some more than Others"
  • Compiling copy on "Who Needs a Twitter Babysitter?"
I believe my resume, personal, and professional background speaks for itself.  Finally, I would like to confirm my passion for this managerial opening with a small poem that I wrote:

"The Yankees be nimble,
The Yankees be Quick,
The Yankees can suck
my ******* dick"
Call me - I'm available immediately.

Until Next Time,

Craig Turley
@OldNFLBalls











MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Deshaun Watson still helping families impacted by Hurricane Harvey

Doc Rivers on Chris Paul chatter: 'When you leave, just leave'

Luke Walton: Lakers deserved to be booed in season opener

Marshawn Lynch took public transit home from Raiders game

Enrique Hernandez ties record with three home runs in Game 5

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

LOOK: Sad Lonzo Ball on bench shows Lakers rookie’s first official struggle face

Marshawn Lynch ejected for shoving referee

WATCH: Kristaps Porzingis denies Carmelo Anthony at rim

Aaron Rodgers undergoes surgery to repair broken collarbone

Groundbreaking for Raiders' new Las Vegas stadium set for next month

Redskins' Jay Gruden throws tremendous praise Carson Wentz's way

Three Up, Three Down: Dodgers finish Cubs while Astros find pain in the Bronx

The 'Some call me the Rocket, some people call me Maurice' quiz

Kyrie Irving must lead Celtics through a disaster in search for happiness

Jacoby Brissett: The forgotten up-and-comer

NFL Week 7 Predictions

The 'Can I have a quick sword with you?' quiz

College football 2017 Week 8 predictions

NFL Referee Hotline Bling: Austin Seferian-Jenkins drops a call

Blackhawks get extra depth on defense with newbies Rutta and Forsling

The 'Old faces in new places' quiz

Nikola Jokic: A throwback superstar for the modern era

25 questions heading into the 2017-18 NBA season

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Yardbarker Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Three Up, Three Down: Dodgers finish Cubs while Astros find pain in the Bronx

The 'Some call me the Rocket, some people call me Maurice' quiz

Kyrie Irving must lead Celtics through a disaster in search for happiness

Jacoby Brissett: The forgotten up-and-comer

NFL Week 7 Predictions

College football 2017 Week 8 predictions

The 'Can I have a quick sword with you?' quiz

NFL Referee Hotline Bling: Austin Seferian-Jenkins drops a call

Blackhawks get extra depth on defense with Rutta and Forsling

The 'Old faces in new places' quiz

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker