Originally posted on Metstradamus  |  Last updated 1/18/12



I know being in a division the defending A.L. champions and the team that just got Albert Pujols can drive a team to do drastic things. But this is over the top.

If the Seattle Mariners really wanted to reunite people, they could have tried Loggins and Messina. Or the cast of Cheers. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, for crying out loud! But these two? These are the two you want to bring together? The Meatball Twins from Game 7 of the 2006 National League Series of Death? I realize that replacing Michael Pineda after trading him to the Yankees (thanks a lot for that, by the way) is a tough task. But trust me when I tell you that these two okeydokes are not the answer.

Eight days after re-acquiring Aaron Heilman by signing him to a minor league deal, the Mariners shocked the baseball world (okay, me and a few other people) by inviting Oliver Perez to spring training. Signing Heilman is useless enough ... guy hasn't thrown a good pitch since that beauty he threw right before crushing our souls in Game 7 of '06 with that beach ball to Molina. But Ollie? I wouldn't invite him to dinner much less my baseball team, and I can't believe there isn't anybody else the Mariners would rather look at rather than waste their time with Oliver. Simply said, I think he turned his baseball career into a disgrace. He had two consistent months in his Mets career, oddly enough they came in a contract drive. Once he got his money he got lazy, disinterested in maintaining his mechanics once he went to the World Baseball Classic that spring, and then he refused a minor league assignment which, while it was his right to do, did the club and himself a disservice. I'm shocked there's a team that actually wanted him. But nothing shocks me anymore. (And don't give me any garbage about how he only gave up one run in six innings in that Game 7 ... Without Endy's catch he gives up three in five and two-thirds and probably gets pulled before he could even get a quality start.)

I'm just happy that there's another fan base besides the Mets' fan base that is now forced to soothe themselves with the "hey, these guys are low-risk/high reward signings" conversation. Ha! The Mariners would have better luck looking for a reward by finding a leprechaun with a pot of gold as a reward. That's all that conversation is: a way to convince yourself that signing players like these aren't big huge waste of time. I'll go so far as to say that Jamie Moyer will probably win more games with Colorado than the two of these guys combined will in Seattle. Hell, Jamie Moyer will win more games with Colorado than these two guys will with with Tacoma.

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