Originally posted on Metstradamus  |  Last updated 6/7/13
The Mets defeated the Nationals 10-1 on Wednesday, so I don't know why the Mets feel that they even need new players. Heck, if the Mets had passed ten times because of their big win over the Nats, that would have been gangsta. But not only does the black cloud follow them figuratively, it has been following them quite literally over the last two days. So to be safe, the Mets drafted some new players over the last two days. Let's meet them: Dominic Smith (1B/OF Junipero Serra High School): The Mets took Smith with the 11th pick of the draft, which was under much scrutiny as the pick that would have went to the Braves if they had taken Michael Bourn. But really, had it not been for that jerk Mark Appel, who could have made life a lot easier on himself if he had just signed with the Pirates, caused the Mets pick to fall to an unprotected slot by not signing with the Pirates. The Mets could have had Bourn, and Smith. Karma has Appel as a member of the Houston Astros, but I'll still boo him every chance I get. As far as Smith goes, he is pegged as a guy with a sweet swing and a plus defender at first base. And with the right swing coach, he could hit for power. I liked this guy all the way back in 2008 ... when his name was Ike Davis. Because that was pretty much the same scouting report on Davis. Now, with Davis turning into the Mark Sanchez of the Mets, Flushing Scouting has selected Brown. But Brown is only 17 years old, so either Davis has six more years of productivity before he has to worry, or his career will continue to dive bomb forcing the Mets to do something drastic to bridge the gap to Smith, like trading for Prince Fielder after he eats his way out of house and home and becomes the next Mo Vaughn. Smith shouldn't be worried about his career following the same path as Davis if he merely takes the following free advice: First off, don't let the Mets brass see you take a drink. If you do, you'll be the subject of multiple columns quoting "one Mets official". Second, if you're in Denver trying to catch a pop-up, and David Wright is anywhere near you, just let him have it. Third, don't spend a lot of time in Arizona hanging around farmers. And lastly, and some would say most importantly, make sure your batting average after the first two weeks of the season is somewhere around the .800 mark. Andrew Church (Pitcher/Some Other High School): Church is thought to be a potential middle of the rotation starter who once gave up a home run and a double in a game against Dominic Smith. This means that after a bunch of good natured teasing by Smith in Brooklyn and Savannah, the middle of the rotation starter that Church will turn into will unfortunately be Mike Pelfrey. Church will have more confidence issues than Alay Soler staring down a strike zone. And like another guy named Church, he'll inevitably be flown to Denver with a concussion. Ivan Wilson (Center Fielder/Big Guy): Dude is 6' 3" 220 lbs. Which means he has the size to reach the major leagues, stare down Lucas Duda and say "Not today, boss." At which point Duda and Wilson will wrestle for the last remaining chicken wing in the clubhouse. At that point, all you would need is a tub of Jell-O and an "SNY Breaking News" graphic, and you have a party my friend. Casey Meisner (Pitcher/Tall Guy): Meisner is 6'7" 190 lbs., which could only mean that the Mets drafted him to help get some size back for their intramural basketball team after the crushing losses of Chris Young and Jon Rauch. He also has an interesting twitter account, which I'm not sure is really his. But no matter what he says on his account, just remember that the Yankees drafted a guy who hates them. That guy is my hero. L.J. Mazzilli (Second Baseman/Nepotism): Oh you're kidding me, like I don't feel old enough. Lee Mazzilli's kid. You know that he is going to get teased about his father being a matinee idol. His new teammates will probably find Mazzilli's old poster and plaster it in his locker. Reporters will spot it and create some sort of jealousy angle between him and his father for no reason. Perhaps there will be an ethnic tension story that arises out of it even though the two are in the same family. L.J. is projected to be the guy who gets traded for Ron Darling's son and Walt Terrell's son. Or daughter. Actually, I'm not sure if Walt Terrell has any kids. But if he does, he or she will be the player to be named later. Best Of The Rest: The Mets drafted six other players on Friday. No need for scouting reports, because they have all been traded for Chad Qualls, Kirk Presley, Joe Foy, Todd Van Poppel, and a draft bust to be named later.
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