Originally posted on IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS caught  |  Last updated 6/1/12
Milwaukee catcher Jonathan Lucroy says his negligent, devil woman wife Sarah is receiving death threats on Facebook, because her terrifying inability to keep house caused him to break his hand. According to the Internet, Lucroy was reaching under the bed for something, when a suitcase set by Lady Evil toppled onto his hand. Try to recreate this scene in your mind. Yep. Same here. Way I see it, he must have been cowering under the bed - with his hand reaching out. Satanic beast woman. This is the most terrifying display of womanly wife evil since Graig Nettles’ spouse refused to mow their lawn, causing Graig to miss four weeks of Yankee time after the poor, lovable doofus did what any man would do - stick his hand in the rotating blade. Or Henry Cotto, who punctured an eardrum with a Q-Tip – the kind of instrument wives are supposed to use. Let’s get one thing straight; Here at IT IS HIGH, we don’t condone death threats, unless they’re against fat ex-Redsock pitchers who pour
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