Originally written on Croix De Candlestick  |  Last updated 4/1/13
Right about here would be where I wax poetic about Opening Day finally arriving. I’d probably say something about the smell of freshly cut grass, quote Ted Williams, wave an American flag around, and call it a day. Instead I guess I should talk about what just transpired at Dodger Stadium. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong) In case anyone hasn’t been watching baseball the last three or so years, Clayton Kershaw is really good at the game of baseball. Like, really good. That being so, it wasn’t all that shocking to see the Giants spend nine innings flailing at a curveball that Kershaw only could have learned from Satan himself. But the real pain of today came right around the time that George Kontos threw a Sandoval-sized fastball right down the middle to the aforementioned demon-spawn that is Clayton Kershaw. There is literally nothing more painful than a Dodger pitcher homering and shutting out the Giants on Opening Day. And when I say “literally” I’m not exaggerating for effect; I’m talking white-hot pain of a billion suns here, people. Last year the Giants blew a six run lead on Easter Sunday to start the season. This year Clayton Kershaw, patchy beardface and all, single-handedly smote the Giants all the way back to a time where there was no recorded history and sabre-toothed tigers wandered the icy tundra in vicious packs. So let’s search for some silver linings. I’ll make a list: Baseball was played today. That’s pretty cool. The only thing Matt Cain has in common with Clayton Kershaw is that he too is very good at baseball. For the next six months we get to introduce them at the “Defending World Series Champion Giants” and I will never ever get tired of this. That was just one game take it one day at a time 161 games to play blah blah blah. Despite serving up Clayton Kershaw’s first ever career home run, I still really like George Kontos for some reason. Dude grows some pretty impressive stubble. No really, there were like twelve games today, I counted. I think it’s officially baseball season but I can’t be certain. Going to have to check my sources and get back to you on that one. And with that I feel a mite calmer. The real test though will be enduring the endless deluge of “OMG THE DODGERS CHEMISTRY” on ESPN for the next week. That said, If anyone mentions the name Clayton Kershaw to me in the next week, I will buy you a puppy, watch you love and raise it, and wait. I will wait and watch as you and that dog form an immutable bond rivaled only by the greatest dog/man combinations in history. I’m talking Lassie/Timmy-in-the-well level love here. Then, when you least expect it, you will have learned a valuable lesson about responsibility and will feel super guilty about making me sad after I bought you a dog. How’s that for an elaborate revenge scenario?
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Report: Cavs could put Love on trading block within next year

Red Sox GM: 'Time to think about' team being sellers

Cardinals fire scouting director in hacking scandal fallout

Report: Lakers to get second meeting with LaMarcus Aldridge

Antonio Gates suspended four games for violating drug policy


Tim Duncan officially returning to Spurs for another season

Rolando McClain suspended four games for substance abuse

Jets' Richardson suspended four games for violating drug policy

Report: Aldridge not impressed with Lakers' branding pitch

Toronto column after trade details Kessel's love of hot dogs

A-Rod, Yankees, union in talks to donate HR bonus to charity

Brewery offers Aldridge free beer for life if he stays a Blazer

P. Diddy avoids felony charges in incident at UCLA

Day 1 of Greenbrier Classic nets golf fans $192,400

Mike Scioscia took down Mike Trout’s Nerf basketball hoop

What the Greg Monroe signing means for the Bucks

Former broadcaster Peter Oosterhuis has early on-set Alzheimer’s disease

76ers on winning side of atrocious salary dump by Kings

Bama players admitted they didn’t respect OSU QB Jones heading into CFB playoff

Solo, Rapinoe among USWNT stars up for World Cup awards

Report: Heat re-sign Wade to one-year, $20M contract

Larry Brown Sports on Sports Jeopardy! Here's how it went

A-Rod on desire to make All-Star Game: ‘I’d walk to Cincinnati’

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Solo, Rapinoe among USWNT stars up for World Cup awards

LBS on Sports Jeopardy! Here's how how it went

College football's 35 most patriotic helmets

A brief history of non-star All-Stars

With Love retained, the Cavs can take care of LeBron

Grading the deal: Davis commits to Pelicans

Obama Administration: Change name if Redskins move to D.C.

Deciding what the All-Star Game means

Odell Beckham Jr. offered professional baseball contract

Orioles keep finding a way to win

Lloyd sends USWNT to World Cup final

Selecting the 2015 AL All-Stars

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.