Originally posted on Croix De Candlestick  |  Last updated 4/1/13
Right about here would be where I wax poetic about Opening Day finally arriving. I’d probably say something about the smell of freshly cut grass, quote Ted Williams, wave an American flag around, and call it a day. Instead I guess I should talk about what just transpired at Dodger Stadium. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong) In case anyone hasn’t been watching baseball the last three or so years, Clayton Kershaw is really good at the game of baseball. Like, really good. That being so, it wasn’t all that shocking to see the Giants spend nine innings flailing at a curveball that Kershaw only could have learned from Satan himself. But the real pain of today came right around the time that George Kontos threw a Sandoval-sized fastball right down the middle to the aforementioned demon-spawn that is Clayton Kershaw. There is literally nothing more painful than a Dodger pitcher homering and shutting out the Giants on Opening Day. And when I say “literally” I’m not exaggerating for effect; I’m talking white-hot pain of a billion suns here, people. Last year the Giants blew a six run lead on Easter Sunday to start the season. This year Clayton Kershaw, patchy beardface and all, single-handedly smote the Giants all the way back to a time where there was no recorded history and sabre-toothed tigers wandered the icy tundra in vicious packs. So let’s search for some silver linings. I’ll make a list: Baseball was played today. That’s pretty cool. The only thing Matt Cain has in common with Clayton Kershaw is that he too is very good at baseball. For the next six months we get to introduce them at the “Defending World Series Champion Giants” and I will never ever get tired of this. That was just one game take it one day at a time 161 games to play blah blah blah. Despite serving up Clayton Kershaw’s first ever career home run, I still really like George Kontos for some reason. Dude grows some pretty impressive stubble. No really, there were like twelve games today, I counted. I think it’s officially baseball season but I can’t be certain. Going to have to check my sources and get back to you on that one. And with that I feel a mite calmer. The real test though will be enduring the endless deluge of “OMG THE DODGERS CHEMISTRY” on ESPN for the next week. That said, If anyone mentions the name Clayton Kershaw to me in the next week, I will buy you a puppy, watch you love and raise it, and wait. I will wait and watch as you and that dog form an immutable bond rivaled only by the greatest dog/man combinations in history. I’m talking Lassie/Timmy-in-the-well level love here. Then, when you least expect it, you will have learned a valuable lesson about responsibility and will feel super guilty about making me sad after I bought you a dog. How’s that for an elaborate revenge scenario?
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Reports: Sale cut up throwback uniforms with knife in protest

WNBA withdraws fines for teams that protested gun violence

Ezekiel Elliott: ‘Evil NEVER prevails’

Orioles, Padres reportedly talking trades of Melvin Upton, Cashner

Le’Veon Bell reportedly missed ‘several’ drug tests


Report: Islanders looking at locations to build new arena

Top five takeaways from this year's NBA Summer League

NCAA rules that hanging out with hip-hop star Drake is violation

WATCH: Justin Bieber arm wrestle Sixers center Joel Embiid

RUMOR: Celtics sign Green, Zeller and two others to contract deals

Kevin Durant Thunder jerseys going for less than 50 cents in OKC

Solo not taking any chances with Zika virus while in Rio

Rays reportedly demanding Profar in pitching deal with Rangers

Facebook doesn’t know the difference between Liverpool and Arsenal

Report: Teams asked about Wade Davis, asking price very high

Aussie Rules Football player accidentally kicks, breaks own leg

Former Arkansas football assistant trolls Bobby Petrino on social media

Could Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw's injury hinder trade talks?

Spurs strike a new deal with NBA stalwart Manu Ginobli

George makes return to Team USA following leg injury

Why the Clippers shouldn't break up their big three

White Sox pay homage to Bo Jackson’s bat-breaking skills with bobblehead

Orioles affiliate pay tribute to David Bowie on their jerseys

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Effect of ban on Russia could span beyond the Olympic Games

One Gotta Go: NBA players hate Facebook too

QUIZ: Name every city to host the NBA All-Star Game

One Gotta Go: NBA players settle the fast food beef

One Gotta Go: NBA players make tough choices on their favorite rappers

One Gotta Go: NBA Summer League is not about that Game of Thrones life

The top NHL free agents available as offseason winds down

WATCH: NBA jersey sponsors that need to happen

Expansion draft playing heavy hand in the current NHL offseason

WATCH: Pop & Timmy have a guys' night out

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Follow Yardbarker