Stuff I don't like, Vol. 1

-Making "man-friends."

It starts when your 8. Mom's friend comes over with her minion spawn. She declares said child, who reeks of Fruit Roll Up resiude, shares a mutual interest in Sega. While mom and her friend go off to drink in the foyer, you're stuck with some kid you've never met in your life. Now, his snotty hands are all over your Sega controller as you try to explain to his moronic ass how to make Sonic spin into the speed ball on the Casino level.

But it doesn't end there. It gets worse.

I've been introduced to guys so many times and left alone to discuss mutually-agreed upon topics by girls such as "football", "the Yankees", and even "rap music."



Sonic, in spin dash form.

Now's the worst time to get stuck in this socio-bear trap. "Julie and I are going to grab a drink. Mike, tell **** about what you said to me last night about the economy because **** has money in the stock market."

Or even worse..."I bet you and **** liked that Sarah Palin SNL skit! We'll be right back!"

Right then, the only damn person you know at the bar or party walks away from you, leaving you stranded with a man-friend foaming at the mouth as he's prepared to tell you all about his blog. Sure, everyone's made some man-friends that stuck. This phenomonon is explained by popular conensus as being secure that man-friends' girlfriend is less hot than your girlfriend, i.e., you will be secure to keep man-friend around.Or because man-friend was really good at Sonic and knew the level select code.