Originally written on Monkey with a Halo  |  Last updated 6/26/13
Let's face it, this whole Josh Hamilton thing isn't working out so great. He's easily the most disappointing and most frustrating player on an incredibly disappointing and frustrating team. The problem is that Josh isn't going anywhere. We fans are just going to have to make the best of it, so to prepare you for what is sure to be a tough emotional journey, we present the Five Stages of Rooting for Josh Hamilton. Our sincere hope is that if/when you feel any of these feelings, you will be comforted by the fact that they are entirely normal and merely a part of where you are when it comes to making peace with having Josh Hamilton on the team you love.   DENIAL "He'll be fine. He's just streaky." "I'm sure he just has to get comfortable with his new team and then everything will fall into place." "There's nothing wrong with him, he's always swung at everything. Someday soon the results will be there and we'll all be like 'Oh. Oh, OK.'" "He hit homers in back-to-back games! He's about to turn things around. I can feel it!" (TWO MONTHS LATER) "He had three hits last night! He's about to turn things around. I can feel it!"   ANGER "God dammit! I knew we shouldn't have signed this clown. I always hated him when he was a Ranger!" "At least act like you care, you overpaid sack of crap!" "STOP SWINGING AT BREAKING BALLS IN THE DIRT, ASSHOLE!" "Why don't you pray to Jesus to give you the ability to recognize a changeup!" BARGAINING "Maybe if Scioscia just drops him in the order, he can hit with less pressure and find a groove." "The Angels should platoon Josh, just until he regains his confidence." "He's got to be hiding an injury, right? Right? RIGHT??!!?!" "Do you think we can trade Hamilton for Vernon Wells?"   DEPRESSION "This team is screwed with all these bad contracts. They are going to miss the playoffs for the next decade. I quit." "I can't believe the Angels still have to pay Hamilton for another four and a half years." "I can't believe I have to watch Josh Hamilton play for another four and a half years." /sits at computer refreshing sadjoshhamilton.tumblr.com every five minutes while weeping   ACCEPTANCE "Hamilton is never going to get better. That's fine. The Angels will just hide him on the bench and overpay for a replacement, just like they did with Vernon Wells before him and Gary Matthews before him and so on and so on." "This is what we deserve for being so greedy. They should have just re-signed Hunter and left it at that." "Well, he can kind of hit righties. He'll be overpaid but he can still provide some utility if used judiciously. That's better than nothing" "Whatever. At least the Angels still have Trout." [follow]
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Tom Coughlin: Victor Cruz not expected to practice this week

Report: Redskins ownership won't let coaches bail on RG3

D'Angelo Russell: 'There's a lot of spoiled Lakers fans'

Terry Collins didn't challenge double out of fear of HR

Has Tim Lincecum thrown his last pitch for the Giants?

Jerry Jones is enthralled with ‘vintage’ Darren McFadden

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Report: Three NFL head coaches were interested in Michigan job

Odell Beckham Jr. is not intimidated of Darrelle Revis

Chargers say Seahawks DE took cheap shot at Philip Rivers

Rex Ryan jabs Jets for passing on Martavis Bryant?

Jay Gruden backing down from support of RG3 as starter

Ukwuachu rape victim hires firm that prosecuted Winston

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

D'Angelo Russell zings Lakers fans

Every NBA division's most interesting rookie for 2015-16

Fantasy football round-by-round draft strategy

Ronda Rousey's Carl’s Jr. ad

The WWE Divas Revolution is getting ugly

The NFL’s season kickoff isn’t going as planned, but plans don’t matter in the NFL

The Opening Drive: What happened to all the great Michigan tailbacks?

The 1980s Lakers represent the NBA’s ultimate creation story

The Orioles’ frustrating season

Five greatest NBA players of all-time

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker