Originally posted on Monkey with a Halo  |  Last updated 6/26/13
Let's face it, this whole Josh Hamilton thing isn't working out so great. He's easily the most disappointing and most frustrating player on an incredibly disappointing and frustrating team. The problem is that Josh isn't going anywhere. We fans are just going to have to make the best of it, so to prepare you for what is sure to be a tough emotional journey, we present the Five Stages of Rooting for Josh Hamilton. Our sincere hope is that if/when you feel any of these feelings, you will be comforted by the fact that they are entirely normal and merely a part of where you are when it comes to making peace with having Josh Hamilton on the team you love.   DENIAL "He'll be fine. He's just streaky." "I'm sure he just has to get comfortable with his new team and then everything will fall into place." "There's nothing wrong with him, he's always swung at everything. Someday soon the results will be there and we'll all be like 'Oh. Oh, OK.'" "He hit homers in back-to-back games! He's about to turn things around. I can feel it!" (TWO MONTHS LATER) "He had three hits last night! He's about to turn things around. I can feel it!"   ANGER "God dammit! I knew we shouldn't have signed this clown. I always hated him when he was a Ranger!" "At least act like you care, you overpaid sack of crap!" "STOP SWINGING AT BREAKING BALLS IN THE DIRT, ASSHOLE!" "Why don't you pray to Jesus to give you the ability to recognize a changeup!" BARGAINING "Maybe if Scioscia just drops him in the order, he can hit with less pressure and find a groove." "The Angels should platoon Josh, just until he regains his confidence." "He's got to be hiding an injury, right? Right? RIGHT??!!?!" "Do you think we can trade Hamilton for Vernon Wells?"   DEPRESSION "This team is screwed with all these bad contracts. They are going to miss the playoffs for the next decade. I quit." "I can't believe the Angels still have to pay Hamilton for another four and a half years." "I can't believe I have to watch Josh Hamilton play for another four and a half years." /sits at computer refreshing sadjoshhamilton.tumblr.com every five minutes while weeping   ACCEPTANCE "Hamilton is never going to get better. That's fine. The Angels will just hide him on the bench and overpay for a replacement, just like they did with Vernon Wells before him and Gary Matthews before him and so on and so on." "This is what we deserve for being so greedy. They should have just re-signed Hunter and left it at that." "Well, he can kind of hit righties. He'll be overpaid but he can still provide some utility if used judiciously. That's better than nothing" "Whatever. At least the Angels still have Trout." [follow]
MORE FROM YARDBARKER:
Five most anticipated September MLB call-ups
GET THE YARDBARKER APP:
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Dwyane Wade’s cousin shot and killed in Chicago

NFL tries to reduce kick returns, promptly causes more kick returns

San Francisco Giants inching closer to a record they really don’t want

Clint Dempsey undergoing testing for irregular heartbeat

Troubling details emerge from Jeremy Jeffress' DWI arrest

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Chargers would welcome Joey Bosa if he signed contract

Falcons rookie Keanu Neal needs surgery on knee

Jerry Jones unhappy with Ezekiel Elliott's dispensary visit

Texas Tech using fake Twitter accounts to track players

Nike creates custom Air Jordan shoes in tribute to Craig Sager

Browns wanted ‘second-round pick and then some’ for Gordon

Heading into the homestretch: 2016 ROY favorites

Premier League notebook: The love affair at Man U

One Gotta Go: NFL legends talking comedians is no joke

It's all about timing: The evolution of the clock in sports

Predicting the unpredictable: Your MTV VMAs rundown

10 great moments in the career of Roberto Duran

Marshall’s first impression of Fitzpatrick: ‘He was terrible’

One Gotta Go: NFL legends bring the hate for fast food

What you need to know about the Champions League draw

Six worst quarterback situations in the NFL

Can the San Francisco Giants bust their teamwide slump?

A look at 2016 college football conference changes

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
the YARDBARKER app
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Premier League notebook: The love affair at Man U

Heading into the homestretch: 2016 ROY favorites

One Gotta Go: NFL legends talking comedians is no joke

It's all about timing: The evolution of the clock in sports

Predicting the unpredictable: Your MTV VMAs rundown

10 great moments in the career of Roberto Duran

The 20 best boxing movies of all time

One Gotta Go: NFL legends bring the hate for fast food

What you need to know about the Champions League draw

Can the San Francisco Giants bust their teamwide slump?

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Help
Follow Yardbarker