Originally posted on Monkey with a Halo  |  Last updated 4/11/13
This last series in Texas reminded me of something: Angel fans no longer have anyone to boo! Just look at all the fun those Texas fans had booing Josh Hamilton. Down by five runs? Texas Ranger fan don't care, just boo Josh Hamilton. And let's face it, with the way things are going for the team right now, we really need someone to boo, if only to blow off some steam. Of course, Halo fans used to have a player to boo pretty much whenever they felt like in the form of Vernon Wells. Before him there Fernando Rodney and before him Scott Kazmir. And, of course, there was always Jeff Mathis. Let's face it, every incarnation of the Angel roster needs to have a goat. Not because we Angels fans are mean-spirited creeps, but rather because, like most fan bases, we have free floating anger that needs to be directed somewhere for the sake of our own mental health. It is essentially just a safety release valve and some poor sucker now needs to fill the role that Vernon vacated when he made his escape to New York. But who will it be? This current Angels roster is, dare I say, pretty dang likeable. There is no obvious jerk, chump or underperformer on the roster (yet). We could sit back and wait for the a subject of scorn to emerge organically, but who has the patience for that? Let's just get down to it and pick a new public enemy #1 to be the target for all our misplaced angst: Erick Aybar - Aybar certainly has his fans, but he also has plenty of detractors. It seems like Erick can't go more than a week with committing some sort of mental gaffe in the field, on the bases or at the plate. That certainly is annoying, but annoying enough for the fans to turn on an otherwise pretty solid player, I'm not so sure? Howie Kendrick - I say Howie, you say GIDP! HOWIE! GIDP! HOWIE! GIDP! Yeah, that's what Howie is known for now, being terribly unclutch and finding ways to hit into double plays even with nobody on base. The real kicker for him though might be that we all had unbridled prospect love for him when he was being touted as a future batting champion and it is now painfully obvious that day will never come. Heck, I'm not even sure he is going to give hit over .300 again. Sean Burnett - He's new so he has a clean slate, but he also has a crooked hat. We don't think too kindly 'bout crooked hats 'round these parts (spits into a spitoon). Maybe ya best put that hat on straight or get back in yer car and skeedaddle on outta here, boy. Tommy Hanson - It isn't really his fault that he is on this list since it seems pretty clear that the Halos acquired damaged goods. What compels me to spit bile at him though is all of the uncanny parallels to former hated Halo Scott Kazmir. Plus, since he is a ginger and has no soul, our witty (and not so witty) barbs at his expense won't hurt his feelings since he, by definition, has none. Alberto Callaspo - Callaspo almost isn't enough of a player to even care strongly about. Now, as a human being, that's another story. If anyone deserves our collective disdain it is a guy who was living with a mistress while his wife was back home with his child in Venezuela, busted for DUI and arrested for slapping around his lady. If anyone wants to start booing one of our own, he gets my nomination. Joe Blanton - Nobody liked his signing and I'm even willing to throw Dipoto into that lot, if I may be so bold. There is nothing redeeming about Blanton who has already put his penchant for underachieving and coughing up gopherballs on full display. And, shallow as it might be, his doughy physique makes him ripe for ridicule, a key factor when considering a target for frequent scorn. C.J. Wilson - Step one, be a hipster douche. Check! Step two, be a disappointing big money free agent acquisition. Well, the jury is still out on that. That might by him some time in the hate department and believe you me he is going to need it if I have to sit threw his moronic Head & Shoulders commercials all season long. Josh Hamilton - He was the source of much Angel fan ire back when he was still a Ranger, so why change? Change is scary. Change makes me uncomfortable. Go away, change! Leave me alone! At this point I think he might be the front-runner given all the residual hate from when he was a Ranger and the rest comes from his massive contract and thus far highly disappointing start to his Halo career. However, he is such an inspirational story that it is awfully difficult for me to come to terms with making him the team's official goat. Maybe I'll change my mind after a few more weeks of him working Jesus into every third sentence and striking out every other plate appearance. Albert Pujols - Sure, he's doing fine right now, but wait until his contract value starts climbing while his production plummets. Hopefully that won't happen for a few more years, but maybe this is an opportunity to make a long-term investment? Get in on the ground floor of hating Pujols now while supplies last! [polldaddy]7023576[/polldaddy] [follow]
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Red Sox nearly had serious catcher emergency in loss to Tigers

Ohio State DL Dylan Thompson ineligible for season

Roger Federer will miss Olympics, U.S. Open with knee injury

Report: Seahawks extend Pete Carroll through 2019

LSU kicker Colby Delahoussaye releases first statement following car crash


Report: Brock Osweiler could have made more money staying with Broncos

Andrew Luck: Feels `as good as I've ever felt` for training camp

Amar'e Stoudemire announces retirement after signing one-day contract with Knicks

Report: Gregory failed multiple drug tests since suspension

Olympian Abby Johnston: Worst thing about Olympic village is no Pokemon

Reggie Bush reportedly closing in on contract with Bills

WATCH: Inside the Nike SNKRS BOX in SF for Golden Air Celebration

Report: Paul Pierce to return to Clippers

Jimbo Fisher: You come to FSU to win national championships

Andre Johnson worked out for Tennessee Titans

Shattenkirk for Krejci trade rumor still floating around

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman denies link to C.T.E.

Michael Vick: Cam Newton can’t beat me in 40-yard dash

WATCH: Five other uniforms Chris Sale should cut up

Odell Beckham Jr. says Giants will play in Super Bowl LI

Iowa researchers say they can optimize Monday Night Football ratings with scheduling

Terrelle Pryor can visit Ohio State as five-year ban comes to a close

Rudy Gay admits to having ‘no idea’ about what the Kings are doing

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

WATCH: Inside the Nike SNKRS BOX in SF for Golden Air Celebration

WATCH: Five other uniforms Chris Sale should cut up

QUIZ: Name every Olympic event in which the USA has never won a gold medal

Five U.S. Olympians favored to win multiple gold medals

WATCH: What teams should join the Big 12?

One Gotta Go: Do NBA players really love NBA2K?

One Gotta Go: NBA players hate Facebook too

One Gotta Go: NBA players settle the fast food beef

One Gotta Go: NBA players make tough choices on their favorite rappers

One Gotta Go: NBA Summer League is not about that Game of Thrones life

Today's Best Stuff
For Publishers
Company Info
Follow Yardbarker