Originally written on Five Tool Tool  |  Last updated 11/9/14
Bud's Severance Package 10) Wants to give every team the opportunity to give him absolutely nothing9) As he's going to be 80 years old, is far too young to truly appreciate baseball8) With PEDs totally out of the game and everything fixed, nothing left for him to do7) Wants to go out doing something decent and honorable that isn't morally corrupt, like selling cars6) Hasn't canceled the World Series in a really long time, so the thrill is gone5) If he stays any longer, might pass Kenesaw Mountain Landis, and just doesn't have the core racism necessary to last that long4) Wants more time to watch inter-league and international games, since someone has to, really3) Knows that if he stays in the game long enough, just won't be able to stop himself from putting every team in the playoffs2) With the Pirates in the playoffs again, knows that the end of the world is coming, and must spend a stunning amount of time atoning for his sins1) Even his sense of utter impropriety can't handle the...
MORE FROM YARDBARKER

Wil Myers heads to Padres in 11-player, 3-team trade

Bears to bench Jay Cutler, start Jimmy Clausen

Bo Pelini calls Nebraska AD a ‘c–t’ and ‘p-ssy’

49ers release Ray McDonald

Take your pick: Colin Kaepernick or Derek Carr

Jim Harbaugh to Michigan speculation building

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER:

Heat lose a key player with McRoberts out for rest of season

Belichick: Ryan is 'buttering me up' with Hall of Fame praise

Marshall: Bears need to gel and do some kumbaya

Red Sox appear content with rotation despite lack of true ace

Iguodala gets technical for mocking Conley travel

Bo Pelini takes shot at Nebraska during introductory presser

Brian Billick owns Browns fan over Johnny Manziel criticism

Report: Celtics in serious trade talks involving Rondo

WATCH: Did Flyers' Giroux wipe boogers on linesman’s back?

Royals sign Edinson Volquez to 2-year deal

12 candidates to replace Paul Chryst at Pitt

Brad Halsey claimed he was on cocaine for Bonds record HR

Wade Miley confident in health, diet after trade from D-Backs

When bowl results mean more for one school than another

Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson lead in 2014 athlete Google searches

Max Scherzer next domino to fall in free agent market

Another "Fire John Idzik' plane flies at Jets practice

Four can't-miss match-ups in NFL's Week 16

MLB News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Brian Billick owns Browns fan

C's in serious trade talks about Rondo

Pelini has profane words for Nebraska AD

When bowl results mean more for one school than another

Four can't-miss match-ups in NFL's Week 16

RG3 quits social media for season

Each NFL division’s MVP

5 NFLers who must step up in Week 16

Most impressive college hoops teams

Five reasons why FSU is going to win the CFB Playoff

Boxer admits to dive in Rourke bout

FCC heard about Brady's swearing?

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
Help
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.