Originally posted on 22gigantes  |  Last updated 11/30/11

That's Amber on her knees (left). Suddenly, Barry's porn 'stache makes sense.

Death. Taxes. Hot chicks at Barry Zito’s bachelor pad.

There aren’t many things in life that are certain, and now you can go ahead and cross Zito’s playboy days off the short list.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, the 33-year old Giants pitcher is getting married, joining teammates Brandon Crawford (who is on his honeymoon in Hawaii right now) and Nate Schierholtz (who’s about to marry his high school sweetheart) as the latest non-eligibles in the ol’ fish market.

At least Pat Burrell and Brian Wilson are still single, right ladies?

Zito walked into the Marin County Clerk’s office a couple of Fridays ago with former Miss Missouri Amber Marie Seyer to file a marriage license.

The wedding is supposedly this Saturday.

Say what?

You heard right. The guitar-slinging man who once dated the likes of Alyssa Milano, Lauren German, and Paris Hilton and carries pink satin pillows on the road (don’t ask) is trading in his rock band for a wedding band.

Seyer appeared on NBC’s Identity game show (starring Penn Jilette) in 2007 and revealed to the world (or at least the few hundred viewers who watched the doomed TV show) that she was once a pig farmer. She hasn’t done much since winning the Miss Missouri USA pageant in ’07. She did star in a Superbowl XLIII ad that ended up being banned by the network. Oh, and she’s the spokeswoman for EarnMyDegree.com. I just did a quick Google search for her and found that most of her pictures these days are of the “clothing optional” variety.

Which probably suits the quirky Zito just fine.

When the clerk at the county office asked if Zito wanted a confidential marriage license application, supposedly he said, “Just give me the public one. I’m over myself.”

Many Giants fans have been over Zito since he has failed to live up to the 7-year, $126 million contract he was given back in 2002.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Zeets was smart enough to coax his 25-year old bride-to-be into signing a pre-nup.

I hope you enjoyed reading "Zito to marry porn star?." I'm interested in your opinion on this article. Why not leave a comment at 22gigantes.com?

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