Gilbert Arenas: There's no such thing as shark attacks.

Gil may be one of the funniest, most random athletes ever. And it's awesome. "So if you're swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that's called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack. A shark attack is if you're chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that's a shark attack. Now, if you're chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space." The sad part is, it sort of makes sense. *edit* he plagiarized it, evidently. Still funny.