The Strangest Dirk Nowitzki Story You'll Ever Read

Deadspin presents to you a look at the burgeoning genre of Dirk Nowitzki fiction. Featuring homoerotic thoughts about Steve Nash, a Christ complex, and Oedipal musings. We are through the looking glass here, people. A helpful and possibly disturbed reader sent a link to this site which features writing best described as "experimental." This story, "The Consummation Of Dirk," is a dreamlike journey through the psyche of Dirk Nowitzki, interspersed with quotes from competitors and analysts, and other potential realities. To sum up, it's batshit insane. I'm quoting some choice sections, but you really owe it to yourself to read the whole thing. Then came the summer of Dirk's retreat-into the mountains? The desert? On a single-sailed raft, adrift in uncharted seas? Dogsledding out over northern tundra? Or was it Patagonia, on austral ice, flocks of penguins drawn to him like angels to the feet of the risen Christ? Do we dare see Dirk fishlike, submerged ...