Originally written on Laker Nation  |  Last updated 11/18/14
Photo Credit: Getty ImagesI am sure everyone that has been paying attention heard about the recent team meeting that took place prior to Wednesday’s game against the Memphis Grizzlies. It was one of those intended to be soul cleansing, brutally honest, and motivational all at the same time. You know, the kind where the coach gathers his players around him for an internal examination of the current state of team affairs.These are the types of meetings that take place in order to keep “family business” inside the house, yet give individual “family members” an opportunity to vent. These things are a must for teams to do, especially when the waters are starting to rise, and the alarm is being sounded.As the Lakers found themselves beginning to drown in their losing streak, and wallow in their misery of poor play, with no apparent light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, it was time to talk.Now, me being the ever inquisitive sort, found myself wondering what in the world it must have been like in that room with D’Antoni and the boys. With that being said, I thought it would be fun to morph into that “fly on the wall”, and do a little eavesdropping on the meeting of the minds (or mindless). So, for the sake of all those who need to find a bit of humor in this otherwise dismal and disastrous season thus far, I bring you the brief excerpt of what I thought I heard while buzzing around the room. Pay close attention, there are many important things being discussed.D’Antoni: Okay everyone, listen up. I thought it was time to set the record straight on a few things. For starters, I am not happy about the way we closed the game against the Bulls. You guys just stopped playing the last 3 minutes . I expect you to at least pretend you are guarding someone like you did the rest of the time. We can’t expect to be consistently awful if we aren’t going to try”. And another thing, if we don’t start jacking up more 3 pointers with a hand in our faces, or make more ill advised passes, or stand around under the rim and give up more defensive rebounds, we are in for a very long year.  I am trying my best to reduce the minutes of those deserving more, using the wrong guys off the bench in the wrong rotations, and above all else, I’m really, really trying to run Kobe ragged and give him as many minutes as humanly possible. Now with all that said, does anybody have anything to add here?Howard: Coach, I apologize for not being more selfish, and demanding more people to look at the stat sheet from the game last night. I won’t let that happen again. I also want to say I am proud of the way I almost hit the rim on some of my free throws. D’Antoni: That’s great to hear, Dwight. If we can just get a bit less productivity out of you offensively, and you could find a way to get ejected a few more times, you will have met all of our expectations for all that money we wasted on you.Nash: Look Mike, this ain’t Phoenix and this ain’t the Suns. If you think for one minute I haven’t lost a step, and I can’t guard anyone anymore, or I don’t commit way more turnovers than I ever have in my entire career, you got another think coming, bro.D’Antoni: Calm down Steve! I convinced Buss and Kupchak to get you for those very reasons. You think I didn’t know you were a broken down mule?Metta World Peace: I just wanna hit something right now! And I don’t mean any shots, I mean something worth hitting.Kobe: I just want the ball, and the freedom to do what I do. And everyone in this room knows what I do. I do what I tell y’all to do, so just do it and let me do what I tell you to do.Gasol: Can you people stop calling me Marc? I’m not Marc, and I will never rebound or play tough and physical like Marc. Matter of fact, I’m not playing at all lately, thanks to you, D’Antoni.Duhon, Sacre, Jamison, Clark, Blake, Meeks, Morris, and Ebanks: Don’t feel bad Pau, some of us have been on the bench so long we thought D’Antoni had forgotten we had any talent at all. D’Antoni: Oh, I didn’t forget fellas… your talent is exactly why you are on the bench.Me: Man, I feel so much better now! Let me fly on out of here before these guys see me. I bet they go out and drill the Grizzlies tonight!” The post [Humor] A Peek Into The Lakers Closed Door Meeting appeared first on Laker Nation.
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Marques Colston restructures contract, will remain with Saints

Syracuse loses scholarships, vacates wins, on probabation

Bryce Harper on Nationals: ‘People want to see us fail’

Gary Bettman on shootouts: 'Fans like the way the game is'

Indianapolis Colts to part ways with Reggie Wayne


Report: Jets to release Percy Harvin

NFL teams shed Top 5 salaries, eye free agency

Report: Jets acquire Brandon Marshall in trade with Bears

With Hunter Pence out, Giants have options

Dustin Pedroia on confidence after grand slam: 'Just watch'

Jon Jones thinks he can beat Cain Velasquez

One NFL Draft prospect decapitated a Sports Science dummy

Jeanie Buss says Lakers will celebrate Kobe’s 20th season

Winners and losers in the Brandon Marshall trade

Photo of plane by Giants' Larry Donnell in NY Times

WATCH: Matt Harvey looked fantastic for the Mets on Friday

Timeline of Yankee captains

Reggie Miller shares great Jordan trash talking story

Winston's film vs. Oregon is why scouts love him

Ndamukong Suh: Show him the money

Who is the 'franchise player' at each sports network?

WATCH: Duncan Keith makes young girl's dream come true

Top 10 storylines to watch in spring practice

NBA News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.
Get it now!
Ios_download En_app_rgb_wo_45

Winners, losers in Marshall trade

Timeline of Yankee captains

Reggie Miller shares great MJ story

Ndamukong Suh: Show him the money

Winston's film vs. Oregon is why scouts love him

Report: Jets acquire Brandon Marshall

With Pence out, Giants have options

Analyzing the top-five free agent QBs

NBA players set to make biggest impact

Larry Bird trash talks Dominique Wilkins’ statue

Likeliest landing spots for Suh

Jay Cutler available to teams in trade

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.