Come on, LeBron James. You know good and well that Carmelo Anthony wiped the sun dried tomato cream cheese from that bench bagel off his upper lip like five minutes ago. And you definitely know how self-conscious he is about having shmootz on his face in front of all these people at the U.S. Fleet Tracking Basketball Invitational exhibition game in Oklahoma City.
Kevin Durant's mom's here, dude! She's going to be mad if she finds out you're being a jerk. Plus, not lying to your friends is, like, the first thing on the list of True Friendship Factors from "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids." Just be nice and live by Bill O'Reilly's edicts like you're supposed to, OK? Jeez.
Best caption wins a wet-nap, because you've got something right ... no, not there ... to the left ... almost ... yep, you got it. Good luck.
In our last adventure: Goodnight bus. Goodnight moon. Goodnight J.R. Smith jumping over the moon.
Winner, Russell S: J.R. Smith adopt...